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Dear Amazon.co.uk customer,
Unfortunately, due to an unexpected delay, your order is taking longer to
fulfil than we originally estimated. We’re still working on your order, but
wanted to let you know about the delay in case your order contains
Christmas gifts.
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In case my fucking order contains Christmas gifts?!?! No you bastards, I thought I’d buy myself a few fucking books in the week before Christmas on a variety of fucking subjects including malt fucking whisky and Chile – you cocksuckers. Fuck you.

And no emails today – I feel unloved. What a night – spent the night chilling drunk so much Smirnoff Ice I feel like a lemonade factory…played cards and pool in the pub, feel like a local :D :D :D It’s nice to come back home for a while just to remember what I’m avoiding ;)

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