WHY ARE YOU ONLINE YOU FUCKING GEEK!!!!! Well all of the members of my family are in ultra good moods right now – the post present glow of goodness. It’s nearly 11 which means that in about 2 hours the meal of my life will be unleashed unto us, belly’s gonna getcha……

On the subject of bellies, this computer SUCKS A$$!!!! I doesn’t even have a working MSN which means that I am trying to spin this writing out for as long as possible so that MSN downloads so that I can abuse people for being online on Christmas Day (muslims accepted) (and geeks) (respect).

Oh yeah Santa came in my chimney etc and he didn’t forget his wagon of presents. I now have enough sweets to kill a small hypoglaecemic (SPSPSPSPSPSPSP?!!!!???!!) army of no-sugar devils (perhaps not the most inspired choice of gift considering the retrograde state of my teeth and the almost immediate need of a visit to the local yom kippur dentist – whatever – and I also have some handkerchiefs. I’m almost LOOKING FORWARD to sneezing right now!!!! AAAAAAAAACHHHHHHHHHHOOOO!!!! Holla!!!

Fuck me MSN takes ages to download…

Christmas News!!!!
No Mars signal from Beagle probe – Maybe it crashed into a reindeer. Or not.
Over 150 die in China gas blast – Happy Christmas.
Broadband so near yet so far – This guy is a big loser.

Nigerian 419ers surface in Baghdad – This is my bank account number: 47856423785207835

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