Everyone Wants a Piece (of cake)

My sister has chipped in with a great offering…she’s munching down on Mince Pies!!!! FEEL THE CELLULITE!!!! RESPECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

Jme’s Intro Part 2 – The Plot Thickens…

Unedited
We was a thinking that we should measure our progress with tape measures on certain body parts, but then 22 years worth of scrawny nature [with the exception of J the tank] will tell you that there is no need to check. We know we’ll be the same size in all departments, yes boz, that too, ‘yawn’….. however we will weigh ourselves weekly to show any changes… This way the girls too can join in without letting anyone know their Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise-weight-Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise … **For those not in the know, a megaton in starship combat will do 510 million damage, something i think we’ll all agree is massive…this comment and relevance of the megaton is not about anyone or anything in particular and nobody should take offence (Boz)**…..

People say that the body with which you are born affects one’s ability to shift that bulk, but people also say that Pirandello actually wrote something worthwhile once so don’t listen to people cos they’re all, without doubt, morons… Thus we have established a level playing field…. 1,2,3 eat!!

Jme’s Intro…Feel his wrath

(Unedited)
Having seen the perils of the woman and her eternal nemesis, the pudding, the breakfast, the lunch, and pretty much anything that she can eat we too have joined the ranks of those on a diet. However, kind as we are, this be the Anti-Diet whereby we, Oli, Jme and J, will strive to counter act all the goodness that them there women put into their bodies… we will eat whatever we like, do next to no Lose Weight Exercise and every week put on exactly O pounds/kilos/ounces/yadda… Thus we will prove once and for all that if you want to Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise-weight-Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise you can forget tables, points and other such bunkum and get yo’ asses down the gym, stop drinking alcohol, eating sugar and snacking… a non gluten low carb vitamen e high blah di snar diet will not do anything for you…. it’s all nonsense

So, without further ado, where’s that lurpak…

Going Big

Ok Jme and I made a conscious effort to Go BiG tonight, so we had crisps, bacon sandwiches, chicken tikka, chicken korma, chicken something else and rice….(Jme tells me it’s not chicken something else, but chicken something or other…) ANYWAY the point is that we put in the effort and I’m feeling bloated and fat and ugly and those thin chicks will never love me again…

NoT HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

JME: Damn straight! Once again it’s on!!!

Our First Fan!!!

The Next Level

Oli: 2 hob nobs, 3 philadelphia sandwiches, 1 bag salt and vinegar crisps

Jme: Toast x 2, banana crunchy nut cornflakes (large bowl), bacon sandwich, Chicken sundried ciabatta, danish

Z: bowl of special k for brekkie, then a jacket potato with tuna and salad for lunch

T: breakfast – fat free strawberry yoghurt (Editor’s Note – shudder x 2), lunch – bagel with humous, ham and cherry tomato (sounds gross actually was great, made it myself) (Editor’s Note – Yes, it does sound gross), dinner (will be) – sainsburys be good to yourself low fat pasta with ham and mushroom microwave meal (Editor’s Note – Horror.)

I just had another hob nob when I was writing that and I could feel it not going straight to my thighs and bum…

Updatesville*Updated

WELLLLLL here’s some updates…I have the promise of a new member to our motley crew of (non) slimmers (I think she’ll be on the healthy side, not sure though…)

SOO last night:

Oli: Box of raisins, Philadelphia sandwich x 2, cheese and onion crisps (high fat), assorted toffees (yumm)

JME: crisps, banana, yoghurt, toasted cheese sandwich, roast chiken, mash peas broccoli, then cereal, a brunch bar and some chocolate…

J: Breakfast: Muffin and a (Editor’s Note – big) pretzel. Lunch: fatty bacon and brie sandwich, bag of crisps. Dinner: huge plate of pasta with cheap ass sauce and a full packet of Jaffa cakes…(Editor’s Note – Additional info: he went straight to bed right after dinner, so no time to burn any calories – true grit and dedication to the cause…)

Z: She’s still asleep

T: breakfast – handful of pretzels (Editor’s Note – obviously there’s a weird pretzel phenomenon sweeping the world…), lunch – bowl of vegetable soup, afternoon – chocolate muffin, dinner – sainsbury be good to yourself low fat pasta with salmon and vegetables (microwave meal), later – 3 cubes chocolate

I think we can see that, due to our girls’ attempt at goodness, they obviously both feel as guilty as hell because they both BROKE from the strain and gobbled some chocolate. This just means that JME, J and myself will need to gobble ten times as much to compensate…

More updates and fun later…and pictures of fat people and thin people to give us MoTiVaTiOn!!!

Pain Barrier

Z’s obviously hit the wall (in dietary terms) and had a Dairy Milk…COME ON JME!!! EAT MOREEEE!!!!!

Updates

Z – Special K (One bowl), M&S healthy chicken salad and low fat crisps (Editor’s Note: DISGUSTING)

O – Extra fat mature cheddar ciabatta and a big slice of APPLE PIE BEEEEATCHHH HOLLAAAAAA

J – Waiting for report…..