The Anti-Diet

Today begins the Anti-Diet, Jme will be contributing as well as yours truly and thus it will truly be a peak of Internet communication.
Today’s breakfast:
2 weetabix

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I’m already failing to eat anything that’s bad for me…but fear not, as I think a trip to the greasy-spoon café will bring some artery hardening monkey meat platter to my excited gut….yes sir I do declare the Anti-Diet….OPENNNNNN!!!!!

Now Later Gators

Yeah babyyyyyyyy I got a crazy date tonight and all the info’s right here:
Friday Night’s Activities…

Yeeeeiiiii Yeeeeeiiiiiii

WANK

I locked myself out of my flat today – DOHDOHDOHDOH – I’ve never done this before so I don’t know what the deal is, plus my tooth is hurting more than He-Man and ManAtArms when they were trapped in that massive bug’s stomach this morning (I’m having a second childhood watching that bad boy every morning GMTV2 on ITV2 )…

Last night I woke up for the second time recently with my tooth hurting so I think I might have held out against medical treatment long enough….oh yeah and get this for comedy, I have to go to meet my olandlord outside my flat today at….2.30pm!!! TOOTH HURTY!!! I’M LAUGHING SO MUCH I’ M GOING TO BE SICK!!!

Bastards.

The big question now is, ‘Am I going to finally do this big pile of crap that’s on my desk?’ Answer, ‘Probably not.’

EMF

You would not believe the FOOL who we went out for a drink with last night…I would swear blind that he was Jack Dee and Steve Cram’s shit baby (Jack Dee for the looks, voice and lack of personality, Steve Cram coz he said he was a ‘jogger’. Twat.) but others were not impressed by my thoughts…anyway WHAT A TWAT. Out of my system…

Had a looooong meeting today and have another one coming up…fun…but all of this time sitting listening to people has given me the opportunity to compliment the next phase in my takeover of the planet. It begins soon…

Hayun beet me at chess yesterday for the first time since I let her win more than a year ago because I fancied her…Muhahahahahaa…

Feel me ROARRR

Well Hakuna matatatataa I’m going to lunch with the little monkey Amy Stevenson today…remember her? I do!!! Oh life is good right now, if only I had a bigger house, girlfriend, lots of money, a PS2, good health etc etc then I’d be happy!

And Sky plus….

Work is crazy right now, getting through the 4kg of crappy letters on my desk yesterday wasn’t fun, and now it’s catch up time…monkey business indeed…