Our house is currently in the grip of a food crisis.
It began yesterday morning, when we ordered delivery from McDonalds (we were recovering from a particularly havoc-filled night). As we sat eating our Big Macs and chicken nuggets, a strange feeling of ‘wrong’ filled the room. It was like the end of a Japanese horror movie, where the ‘ghost’ which has been following the 7 year-old girl around is finally revealed.
The nugget that I was eating did not feel like a nugget should feel. It was too soft, too moist…too liquidy. I looked over at my partner-in-fast-food, and he knew what I was thinking. Actually, he was one step ahead of me, as he was already on his way to the bathroom to throw up. When he was done, I shoved past him and threw up too.
McDonald’s had made us sick. It was a betrayal of truly epic proportions. It felt like my parents had killed my twin brother and then slowly fed him to me over the course of several years, only much more upsetting. I can’t think about eating McDonald’s now without gagging. This may be permanent.
For the last 24 hours we’ve been coming to terms with the ‘dodgy dinner’. What if we can never eat McDonald’s again? We tried to cook some hash browns tonight in the microwave…but they were frozen in the middle and soggy on the outside. And tasted like dirt. You can’t recreate what McDo offers.
Now we need to know – what do normal people eat on a daily basis? What are our food options? What taste as good at 10am as it does at lunch time as it does at midnight? What is your go-to food?
It feels like I lost a friend yesterday. I’m hollow, empty. What is the point of living day to day with this feeling? I decided to find out how long I was going to be around for, and so did…
Life Expectancy Calculator – 85.5 years
…and got the horrible news that I would be alive for another 21700 days (approximately). Unless we can find some great new foods (and fast!), I think it will be substantially less than that…