So to recap: We won some money on a Lottery scratchcard, and set off in search of the 10 greatest bargains to beat the Credit Crunch….and then listed the TOP TEN (from 10 -> 2)…but now it is time to reveal the biggest economic downturn busting bargain…EVER!

Number 1 – THIRTEEN piece moustache set


This needs no introduction, but since there is an introduction up there anyway I will continue. What an amazing deal. One moustache for every day of the week, PLUS a sideboards (sideburns) set…and fake eyebrows!

The Chaplin Moustache

There are a variety of styles you can play around with, including ‘The Chaplin’…which should not be confused with ‘The Dictator’ (when I think ‘Dictator’, I think ‘Hitler’…I’m not sure what turf they were thinking NOT calling ‘The Chaplin’ ‘The Dictator’…but anyway I digress…

The Grandad moustache

The Grandad! My Grandad didn’t have a moustache like this (his looked, more worryingly, like ‘The Dictator’).


‘The (fake) Dictator’! FOOL YOUR FRIENDS! You can’t fool me!

Michael Schupp's facial hair

Schupp! He’s a SOUL MAN…


Well you can not deny that they are SLEEK…

Bjorn Again (sorry)

I think they just ran out of names when they got to this one…

So anyway…many of the fake facial hairs I’ve tried in the past have been horrible failures…


…so I was excited to see how these ones measured up. I wasn’t disappointed!

Laura Denton

Laura managed to go through the entire meal without getting any lasagne in her moustache.

Brothers in Fashion

Jon took hair from his arm and used it on his lip.


They could not take their eyes off the huge mirror on the opposite wall.

So there you have it. The greatest £1 spent during the Credit Crunch. Not only does it provide hours of fun, but if you need to escape from the taxman you can simply slip one on and disappear to Antigua.

Just try not to make yourself look even more famous in the process…

J for Vendetta


  1. is this article inspired by Movember? also, the swinging soul patch looks to be of brazilian origin – can you explain the unprecedented hair loss?

  2. Are any of the girls in your post single? I have a thing for women with facial hair…

  3. Naughtboy: Unfortunately both of those HOT CHICKS are married…however I have quite a big contact list of hairy girls for you. Email me ok?!

  4. Damn. It’s always the same ….. The best ones always get hitched early!

    Emailing you as we speak. I’m glad you share my enthusiasm for the unshaven haven.

  5. Pingback: Eating old people |

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