December2008

Christmas Day (圣诞节)

Dec 30, 2008
4 Comments

As this year was the first time that Oytun and I had been away from our families for Christmas, we decided to try to have a traditional celebration. Or as traditional as possible.

今年是我和Oytun第一次没有跟家人一起过圣诞。我们决定过一个传统的圣诞,尽可能传统的。

Taikang Lu, Shanghai

We promptly went to Tian zi fang (田子坊) (often referred to by its most famous street, Taikang lu (泰康路)), a network of super-tiny, super-trendy, art-inspired cafés, restaurants and galleries. Coz that’s where we usually hang out at Christmas.

我们快速去了田子坊(这个地方经常和一条有街的街泰康路一起被提到),那是个很小,很时髦,聚集了很多特色艺术的咖啡馆,餐厅和画廊的地方。那是圣诞节我们通常会去的地方。

We picked the most Christmassy place we could: A Thai restaurant which doubled as a museum and teddy-bear-making-training-facility. Coz that’s what we usually eat for Christmas dinner.

我们挑了个最有圣诞气氛的地方:一个泰国餐厅兼一个博物馆和教做泰迪熊的地方。那是我们在圣诞节通常会吃的东西。

The best bit? For every Xrmb (I don’t know what X=。。。but it wasn’t too insane) you get a free handmade teddy!

最棒的部分?是只要消费(我不清楚要消费多少,但是不是很夸张)你就可以得到一个免费的手工制作的泰迪!

Teddy bear models don't get enough love

Needless to say, the combination of great food and stuffed animals means this place is a superb place to take a date. Just remember to act suprised when you pick up your fourth free Dinga in as many weeks…

不用多说,美味佳肴配合这些小动物意味着这是个很棒的约会的地方。只要记得在以后的几个星期,当你拿到第四个玩偶后,仍然要表现出一副惊喜的样子…

After we went to celebrate Gcobani‘s pending birthday (no he is not Jesus, he was born on boxing day. More like Mike Tyson.) On the way out we saw one example of a crossover between the Chinese Hanzi (汉字) character system and English. Something had to give:

在我们庆祝了Gcobani还未到的生日以后(他不是耶稣,他生于圣诞节的第二天。更像是迈克泰森),在我们出去的路上,我们看到一个间于中文汉字和英文的标志。让我不得不提:

gtfo

Ok so it didn’t end up being too traditional, but it was fun!

嗯,显然最后这天并不是那么传统,但是非常有意思!

ps, TRS and RMS! I’m thinking of you today! NEVER FORGET THE JACUZZI!

另外,TRS和RMS!我很想念你们!永远也不会忘记按摩浴缸!

I feel like such an idiot.

Dec 28, 2008
5 Comments

Never a cross word!

One of my students (LOLOLOL!O!LO!LOL!) asked me for some help on a crossword today. Of course I accepted….

Sorry, can't help you...

…but I couldn’t get the final two clues. 12 and 13 down…can anyone help?

Happy Christmas

Dec 25, 2008
One Comment


Happy Christmas!
Merry Christmas everyone!

Herpes massage

Dec 24, 2008
4 Comments

Herpes massage

…just £5? I’ll take two.

Eating old people

Dec 22, 2008
12 Comments

When trying to save money, it’s probably a bad idea to go for a ‘quick drink’ with colleagues. Especially with new colleagues. Especially with new colleagues who all don’t have to work the next day. Thanks guys.

So…today I woke up with no money and even less dignity…and where better to go when you’ve hit rock bottom than:

Shanghai Old People's University

It’s a University for old people. Courses include painting, drawing, dancing and…eating! Ok it’s not a course, but they have their own super-subsidised canteen! It’s hidden on the 14th floor of an office building…

Interior decoration is not their strong point

…and had quite a special view! IT’S MY APPARTMENT!

WAVE! I'LL WAVE BACK!

I considered taking my fake grey moustache in order to pretend to be an OAP…but I was warned that old people can see through even the best disguises due to their experience in World War 2.

Play on playa

As you can see, I was spotted immediately by one old codger, but it seemed like he was macking on some other hotties in the queue so he just looked at me like “Game recognize game” and I nodded in agreement.

We queued up for the grub (after buying the food ticket – 8rmb (£0.80)) and a little posse formed behind…

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy and sad.

…but they all looked pretty depressed. What the hell?! No appreciation of the amazing bargain they were about to snaffle up. Their loss.

Don't mess with her, she's serious

Everyone inside the cantina seemed totally focussed on eating. Could the food really be so good that they didn’t want to chat to each other?

Must Eat. Must Eat.

Well, yes.

Let's eat!

My eyes were like BOOM! Three fish pieces (带鱼), crispy ‘sweet and sour style’ pork (古老肉), more rice than I could eat in one week (米饭), aubergines in sauce (茄子), two types of green/yellow vegetable (青菜 + 白菜)(cabbage? I admit I suck at veg vocab. Sue me.), and soup (海带汤). EIGHTY TURFING PENCE. And you know what…it would be 60p if it hadn’t been for the friggin’ Credit Crunch and the practical devaluation of the GBP. CHEW ON THAT! (chew!)

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The green stuff was actually (and I am not crossing fingers, toes or anything right now) delicious. It was certainly the best veg I’ve had in China so far…and I even ate the aubergine stuff even though I usually hate it.

Don't eat them! CANCER!

OMG LOOK OUT FOR THE BONES THO!

So yeah…a flippin’ feast for less money than it costs for 2 chicken wings from KFC. They don’t deliver though!

Weird vending machine update

Dec 19, 2008
3 Comments

Chunz sent me this epic photo in response to my last post…Best thing in Heathrow…and I think she’s topped it!

WTF stationery vending machine?

A stationery vending machine! Well you weren’t expecting it to move were you? sorry.

Anyone got any more?

Best thing in Heathrow

Dec 18, 2008
10 Comments

I can’t sleep on planes dude to my (self-diagnosed) ADHD, so my biggest fear when travelling on one is that the tv screen won’t work. And they won’t move my seat. And I have nothing to do. Nothing to do.

NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGG.

I’m freaking out with boredom just thinking about it.

When I went into the final waiting area before my flight, I panicked – my netbook battery was dying, I had no papers, no books…what if the unthinkable happened? Sweat started pouring from my head (metaphorically speaking).

Then I saw it. It was like a shining beacon of hope.

How sweet is this?! I admit I’m a sucker for vending machines for non-edible products (and an even bigger one for edible stuff) but this took it to the next level….

Then I saw it…

Just £4! Delivered! Well delivered one metre…but still…

It came in its own heavy duty cardboard box…with a ‘free bookmark’ which looked suspiciously like a piece of the box ripped off (but I’m not a hata, so I give them the benefit of the doubt)…

The finished article.

Ok I really feel like a country-bumpkin now.

country bumpkin playing sudoku

How to do music notes, love hearts and other symbols in Facebook status updates and chat

Dec 16, 2008
288 Comments

Facebook symbols for status, heart, sun, music notes


You now know how to add Facebook emoticons to your chats, but do you want to know how you can add hearts, music notes and other cool symbols to your Facebook status and chats?

There are two ways!

1) Copy Facebook symbols from here!


♥ – love heart

♫ – big musical note

♪ – small musical note

☺ – smilie face

☻ – smilie face #2

☼ – sunshine

Free animated smilies for Facebook chat!

2) Do the Facebook symbols yourself!

This works for some people and not for others, but each of these characters can be typed on your keyboard using the ‘alt’ button.

First, if you’re on a laptop make sure you ‘Num Lock’ is on! The ‘Num Lock’ button is on the top right of your keyboard.

Next, hold down ‘alt’ (the one in the bottom left of your keyboard) and press type the following:

Hold ‘alt’ then type 1 – ☺

Hold ‘alt’ then type 2 – ☻

Hold ‘alt’ then type 3 – ♥

Hold ‘alt’ then type 4 – ♦

Hold ‘alt’ then type 5 – ♣

Hold ‘alt’ then type 6 – ♠

Hold ‘alt’ then type 7 – •

Hold ‘alt’ then type 8 – ◘

Hold ‘alt’ then type 9 – ○

Hold ‘alt’ then type 10 – ◙

Hold ‘alt’ then type 11 – ♂

Hold ‘alt’ then type 12 – ♀

Hold ‘alt’ then type 13 – ♪

Hold ‘alt’ then type 14 – ♫

Hold ‘alt’ then type 15 – ☼

Hold ‘alt’ then type 16 – ►

Hold ‘alt’ then type 17 – ◄

Hold ‘alt’ then type 18 – ↕

Hold ‘alt’ then type 19 – ‼ (it’s one character!)

Hold ‘alt’ then type 20 – ¶


Click here for more symbols for MSN from www.msnsymbols.com! They have a huge number of characters and alt symbols for MSN, Facebook and more, including rare ones which we don’t have here!

If you find any other really facebook symbols, leave a comment and let us know!

If you’re looking for normal Facebook chat emoticons, click here!

Free animated smilies for Facebook chat!

How rumours start…

Dec 15, 2008
6 Comments

Until recently, 95% of Chinese textbooks were printed in Ghana.

An innocent Chinese text book!

However, contracts with publishers in Africa have recently been reviewed by the Chinese government due to suspected ‘subliminal messages’ being implanted into the minds of the youth of the country.

Damn you genetics!

I’m not sure there is any hard evidence though.