This Christmas will be just the second I have spent away from my family. Although I do, of course, love my family very much, I don’t really mind being away from them (clearly – I live in China).

Last year could have been pretty melancholy (I hate that word), as we spent Christmas in my Grandparents’ old house (I mean it’s a new build house, they just died so didn’t need it any more), but we saved it by munch and booze….

Chef, at your service.

What? You think I can’t cook? Eat THIS:

Hungry.

So yeah…I’ve been pretty lucky in terms of getting stuffed full of delicious food and drink for the last 26 years. Well this year it’s going to be a bit different….

It’s XMAS in the GHETTO and our house is RIGHT NEXT TO THE PAWN SHOP.

Let me explain. We just found a great new appartment. That’s great in both senses of the word…it’s beautiful, stacked with cool stuff (I’m going to have my own bathroom for the first time in like…ever…what turf am I meant to do with my own sink?), in an amazing location and is huge.

The downside? 2 months rent as deposit + 1 month in advance + 35% of 1 month agency fee + 10% of 1 month agent fee. Do the maths.

Total: LOTS of €£$!!!

We’re going to have to cut out a LOT of things out of our usual lifestyle for a few weeks.

No more exotic food :(

Down the hatch!

RIP Crawler

No more tailored clothes :(

It just fits better

No more hanging with celebrities (perspective is a bitch!) :(

Shortarse!

No more His and Hers impulse buys :(

Hangzhou curse!

No more KTV :(

WHO ARE YOU?!

But it’s going to be worth it! Not for the comfy as hell leather sofa. Not for the balcony. Not for the oven(!). Not for the tv and surround sound. Not for the piano.

For the décor:

Classy, not trashy

BALLLLLLLLLINNNNNNNN’!!!!!

4 Comments


  1. eh wtf wut happened here. tsunami killed the colours?


  2. There are two things that you can’t joke about. Tsunamis and DOUBLE CHINS! Naughty!

  3. Rudy the cowmagnet says:


    what are those watches called?!!! I need to have them!!!!!

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