I woke up this morning, having drunk half my weight in vodka last night, singing karaoke songs with my buddies.
I started to reminisce about those brothers gone but not forgotten, and realised that it was me who had gone, not them.
I used to sit for 6 hours a day with Falco, baseball game -> The Wire -> bed. Daily rituals that were deleted the second I came to Chien Ming Wang country (or close enough). I used to love PTI in the morning. Two cups of coffee. “Cheers”. Nothing more.
Work in the ghetto. Moving to a new ghetto. RMS – the eternal optimist. Miserable Mondays and smoking our way through it. Bowling over after over just because we could. Lifting weights for hours – and for what? It’s all gone now.
Me and Jme must have spent a tenth of our lives together, with our intravenous cocktail of rum and Al’Akir, with Eru on the other end in his own clinic. I’ve never met a more trustworthy man who would do so much for no reward. We’d drink more than anyone should drink on a work night – more than anyone should drink full stop – we just got used to it. Neither of us realised that the feeling of no responsibility couldn’t last forever. The Captain was our third housemate. I miss him too.
We’ve got responsibilities now though – like a girlfriend. Well, he does at least.
My girlfriend is like one of those friends on your MSN list whose status is always ‘Online’ but whenever you send them a message they never reply. A fantasy. You can convince yourself that they are coming back soon, just stepped out of the room, AFK…but really they’re not there. They’re outside, in the real world, living their life. I’ll wait around though – nothing better to do.
I keep lying in bed, keep pressing the snooze button. It’s so easy. Too easy. I’ll stay here a while longer, having drunk half my weight in vodka last night, singing karaoke songs with my buddies.
I can’t explain why I’m thinking so much – it doesn’t happen very often. I try to pin down the reason but every time I get close I just see the same status message:
I’m feeling strangely fine.