My new TV show – Blogstar.TV – Trailer (我的新视频-博客之星-预告)

The full show comes out soon! MOST IMPORTANT – Please type your email in the box below and we’ll email you as soon as it’s available, and go to the Blogstar.TV site and leave a comment!

完整剧情即将出炉!最重要的是–请把你的邮箱地址输入以下方框,我们会尽快用邮件形式发给你,还可以去博客之星的网站查看并且留下你的脚印!

Also – share this video on Facebook <-- (click)!

同时 与你开心上的朋友一起分享吧 <-- (点击)!

同时与你的朋友在人人(校内)分享吧 <-- (点击)!

Can’t view the video?

看不了视频?

Watch the video on Tudou
土豆网上查看

-> http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/YYUiUXwFu30

Watch the video on Youku
优酷网上查看

-> http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTIxOTgwMjU2.html

For some reason, I wouldn’t like to take this bus (由于某些原因，我不要上他的车子)

I rewatched Speed the other day with a group of students. What a classic film! Keanu Reeves…about to break onto the world stage…Sandra Bullock…well…she was enjoying her 5 minutes of fame before she disappeared into B-movie obscurity (yes The Net, I’m talking about you!).

某日我跟我一群学生重温了遍生死时速。经典的电影啊！基努•李维斯…即将站上世界的舞台…桑德拉•布洛克…嗯…在她消失然后投身于B级影片前她确实享受了5分钟的名望（对，我说的就是网络惊魂！）

The next day we were driving near Huaihai Lu when I saw this bus. I’m not sure what it was, but I really wouldn’t feel comfortable taking it….

次日当我们在淮海路上开车的时候看到了这辆公车。我不确定它的样子，但是我确实不敢上这辆车…

…it wasn’t going very fast, but then…maybe it hadn’t reached 50mph yet!

…车开得不快，可是…它可能都不超过80km/h！

I hate my new colleague – 我恨我的新同事

When a new colleague joins a company, either you love them or hate them. If you watch ‘Lie to Me’ (and you should), you will know that you can pass on a lot of body language subconsciously – but what is even worse is if someone makes an OBVIOUS EFFORT to piss you off. It’s cold-blooded.

总有新同事加入公司，不管是不是你喜欢的。如果你看过‘千谎百计’（你应该看过），你会知道通过肢体语言能看出很多潜意识的东西-可是最糟糕的是有些人故意那样让你生气。那就是可恶了。

That has happened with my new colleague. Usually, when some tadpole joins an office, they will make an effort to stay out of trouble, keep a low profile and generally be nice. Well this guy is just the opposite. You see, in our office there are only around 10 desks – but there are 12 staff. This means that sometimes people have to share desks, and generally be flexible.

这个就发生在我的新同事身上。通常，当有新人来办公室，都会尽量不惹麻烦，保持低调和友好。可是这个家伙正好相反。瞧，在我们办公室只有大概10张桌子-可是有12个员工。这就意味着有时候大家需要合用一下桌子，非常灵活的。

Not me, though. I hate it when people sit in my seat, as it is MY OWN GLORIOUS MESS. If anyone does sit in my seat, I invariably Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise half of my papers and notes and have to redo them. Terrible.

尽管不是我。我讨厌别人坐我的椅子，因为那是我自己的弄得乱七八糟的椅子。如果别人坐在我椅子上，我总是要弄丢一半的纸，笔记，然后不得不重新做这些。太可怕了。

So anyway, back to the story. On his first day, not only did my new colleague hop into my seat, AND steal my nametag….

无管怎样，我们回到这个故事，我抓到了这个扒手！ 在他上班的第一天！他竟然坐在我的位子上，还偷我的名牌…

…but he also stole the shirt off my back! I’m pond-ering my revenge!

…而且他还偷了我的T恤！我一定要报仇雪恨！

Facebook penguin emoticon

Ladies and Gentleman, you’ve been waiting for a long time, so here it is – how to insert the brand new Facebook chat penguin emoticon into your Facebook chats! Ever since the Facebook shark emoticon was made available to the public, users have been going crazy guessing which animal or face that FB would provide for its loyal fans – well the wait is over! The designers have clearly been locked away in a special room for months, and they finally decided on…a penguin!

This is a tough question, as generally Facebook is not noted for the high frequency of penguins (or other animals to be honest), however this one could make good sense. The weather has begun to turn cold for the winter, and the Facebook penguin smiley could be just what you need to send your friends some emotion over the holiday season!

Anyway, I know that you are ready and prepared for it now, so here it is…

Facebook penguin emoticon

You can, of course, find this emoticon on our Facebook emoticons page here on DJOD.co.uk, as well as every other smiley that is available online. The question is, can you wait to use it?! Enjoy the new Facebook penguin emoticon!

Best job interview ever? (最好的工作面试)

I was recently sent this interview in an email from a colleague – I get a kick out of it, so I think you will too! I’ve been on a mission recently to find jokes that are funny both in English and Chinese…consider this the first step towards global comedy domination…

我最近把这个面试发给了一个同事，他笑死了，我想你也会笑死的！我最近有个任务就是要寻找中文和英文的好玩的东西或者笑话…考虑把这个当作冲向国际喜剧界的第一步…

Best job interview ever? 最好的工作面试?

Interviewer: Ok! Go for it!

老板： 好的，就这么愉快地决定了!

Interviewee: If the job is too tiring, I’ll probably quit.

职员：如果工作太累，搞不好我会辞职的

Interviewer: Don’t worry about that, we’ll never let it happen.

老板：放心，我不会让这样的事情发生的！

Interviewee: Would I have time off on weekends?

职员：我双休日可以休息吗？

Interviewer: Of course, that’s the bottom line!

老板：当然了！这是底线！

Interviewee: Would I have to work ’til very late?

职员：平时会天天加班到凌晨吗？

Interviewer: That’s not possible, who told you that?

老板：不可能，谁告诉你的？

Interviewee: Do you offer allowance for food at work?

职员：有餐费补贴吗？

Interviewer: Absolutely, and it’s higher than in any other company!

老板：还用说吗，绝对比同行都高！

Interviewee: Is there any risk of death?

职员：有没有工作猝死的风险？

Interviewer: No, how could you ever think that?

老板：不会！你怎么会有这种念头？

Interviewee: Would the company ever take us to travel?

职员：公司会定期组织旅游吗？

Interviewer: Yep, that’s what the work manual says!

老板：这是我们的明文规定！

Interviewee: Would I have to come to work on time?

职员：那我需要准时上班吗？

Interviewer: Nope, it depends.

老板：不，看情况吧

Interviewee: What about the pay, would I get paid on time?

职员：工资呢？会准时发吗？

Interviewer: Always.

老板：一向如此！

Interviewee: Do the new staff have to do everything?

职员：事情全是新员工做吗？

Interviewer: How is it possible? There are lots of more experienced staff.

老板：怎么可能，你上头还有很多资深同事！

Interviewee: If there is a position opening, could I apply for it?

职员：如果领导职位有空缺，我可以参与竞争吗啊？

Interviewer: Definitely! That is what our company depends on!

老板：毫无疑问，这是我们公司赖以生存的机制！

Interviewee: Are you kidding me?

职员：你不会是在骗我吧？

Oh, I forgot to mention…please read it from the bottom -> top!

噢，我忘记说了…请从下往上读！

If you like this and you want to read more email forwards, funny pictures and videos from China, check out FunnyinChina.com!

如果你喜欢这个，而且想读更多的中国的转发邮件，好玩的图片和视频，快看 FunnyinChina.com！

Chris Cafe, Shanghai (上海基斯餐厅)

Today we went for lunch at Chris Cafe, on Shanghai’s Nan Hui Lu near Beijing Xi Lu (behind Plaza 66). It looks pretty crappy from the outside (actually it always looks cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercised), but once you go inside (and up the stairs) it’s a really nice, HK style restaurant with a pretty wide range of dishes (Brocolli gratin = the bomb!)…

今天我们去了上海南汇路靠近北京西路（恒隆广场背后）的基斯餐厅吃午饭。这个餐厅从外面看很不入流（事实上它总是看起来像是关门的），但是一旦你走进去了（并且上楼），那就真的很漂亮，港式餐厅，里面有很多种菜式（奶油西兰花=炸弹！）…

The food, however, was not the main attraction. At the top of the stairs (on the 2nd floor) is a delightful arrangement of lamps…

不过菜肴不是那里最吸引人的。在楼梯上（2楼）有一组非常漂亮的灯饰…

…I don’t usually like dogs, but these ones are great! They’re quiet, they don’t crap everywhere, they do what you tell them…

…通常我不喜欢狗，可是这些是在是很棒！他们很安静，他们不会到处大便，他们做你要他们做的事情…

…but as with so many things in this crazy world, if you look cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser you will uncover a horrible truth…

…可是这个疯狂的世界有很多东西，如果你靠近看，就会发现被掩盖了的可怕的真相…

…now I know what they do to these poor animals, I’ll never go back!

…现在我知道他们对这些可怜的动物做了什么，我再也不会去了！

Dunkin’ Donuts’ secret ingredient! (唐恩都乐的神秘配方)

With the scandal of the tainted milk powder still fresh in the minds of many Chinese people, I was shocked to see this sign in the window of the Dunkin’ Donuts shop on Fuzhou Lu yesterday.

在中国人对于变质奶粉丑闻仍然记忆犹新的时候，我昨天又被福州路上的一家唐恩都乐店窗上的广告给吓到了。

Could it really be that Dunkin’ Donuts has begun using one very ‘old fashioned’ ingredient?!

难道唐恩都乐真的决定使用这种‘过时的’配方了？！

The green one definitely looks like it’s tainted!

这个绿的看起来就是变质的！

(DDT = 爆燃过渡到爆炸)

If you are reading this I need your help and support RIGHT NOW! (如果你正在看这个，那我需要你的帮助和支持！现在！马上！)

This is a photo of me having a beer.

这是我在喝啤酒的一张照片。

I don’t usually drink, so it’s a rare one! I think this is one of the best photos of me ever…Look at that bone structure! Look at those eyes! Look at that hair! So cool…so stylish…so youthful!

我不常喝酒，所以这是罕见的一张！我觉得这是我的最棒的一张照片…看看这个骨架子！看看这双眼睛！看看那个头发！太帅了…太有型了…太年轻了！

Wait…youthful?! Let’s have a cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser look…

等等……年轻？让我们凑近点看…

Looks good to me! No need to go any cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser, right? RIGHT?!

看起来还不错！不用再近了吧？对吧？！

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?! Well…it had to happen some time. I have a grey hair! 28 years, 1 month and 17 days of life…however…I have a plan…and I’m suprised that other people haven’t thought about this as a solution to their (castle) grey-skull problem…

这是什么？！？！嗯…有时候就是会这样。我有一根灰头发！28岁1个月零17天的我…可是…我有个计划…我很惊讶没有人想过一些方法去解决他们灰骷髅头的问题…

PULL THE SUCKER OUT! GG Grey!

拔掉它！灰头发！

Please, post a comment below and tell me that I’m not alone. PLEASE!

拜托，回复并告诉我，我不是一个人。拜托！