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I like to think of myself as an expert on Fast Food. A connoisseur, if you will. My love for cheap, delicious, (generally) “beef” based nutrition can be traced back to my youth – growing up in a remote rural time-warp with no shops (never mind a burger bar) meant that they always held some kind of magical charm for me.

我自觉可以称得上是个快餐专家了。你也可以说我是个行家。我对既便宜,又好吃(通常来说)还蕴涵基础营养的‘牛肉’的喜爱可以追溯到我的年轻时代–生长在偏远农村的时代—周围没有商店(更别说汉堡吧了)意味着这些快餐对于我来说有着某种神奇的魅力。

I pride myself on my knowledge of the industry, indeed if you search for Mcdonald’s Shanghai you should find my ‘self-help’ guide on ordering delivery here in the biggest city in China. However, all good things must come to an end, and a couple of days ago I met my match.

我对自己在这个领域的知识相当自豪,如果你搜索上海麦当劳,你应该可以找到我的关于在中国最大的城市的外卖‘自助’服务指南。不过,所有好的东西一定都有结束的一天,就在几天前我遇到了一次挑战。

The Burger King 4-stack.

汉堡王4层汉堡。

Theoretically, it was my dream burger. Bread, four burgers, two bacon, mayo and a little ketchup. No huge chunks of onion to distract you, no disgusting tomato…just flame grilled beef and a smile. What could go wrong?

理论上讲,这是我梦寐以求的汉堡。面包,4层汉堡,2块培根,蛋黄酱和一点番茄酱。没有很多洋葱,也没有讨厌的番茄…只有烤牛肉和一个微笑。那会有什么问题?

burger king four burgers China

I began eating, and it was heavenly. I would often take bites from the top instead of the side (due to the brick-like nature of the burgers) – it was an experience to behold…who could have designed such a marvel? But just like in Independence Day, the beautiful strange suddenly turned on me…

我开吃了,这个神圣的汉堡。通常我吃汉堡都是从上面开始的,而不是旁边(原理和砖一样)-多是个叹为观止的经历…是谁竟然设计出这样的奇迹?可是就像独立日一样,美丽的变化突然发生在我的身上…

burger king super burger

I ate it, all but one bite. I felt fuller than usual after eating fast-food (I usually eat very quickly, so I don’t feel full until it hits my stomach 10 minutes later). I nibbled some fries and ate some ice-cream (free sundae!)…but an uneasy feeling was sweeping over me.

我吃了,可是只是咬了一口。我觉得比我平时吃完快餐后都要饱(通常我都吃很快,所以我一般都不觉得饱,直到10分钟以后他们到我胃里)。我吃了几根薯条和一点点冰淇淋(免费的圣代!)…可是我觉得浑身都不太舒服。

Perhaps a walk around the mall would help digestion? I stood up to go, but a feeling of light-headed numbness swept over me. THE BURGER WAS KILLING ME!

可能走一会儿可以帮助消化?我站起来准备走会,可是一种头晕目眩的感觉包围了我。这个汉堡杀了我!

The next two hours were a constant battle between man and meat. I couldn’t concentrate, had early-onset meat sweats and wished, for perhaps the first time in my life, that I hadn’t eaten that Burger King meal.

接下来的2个小时就是一场人和肉的较量。我没法集中注意力,出现早发性食肉导致的流汗并且希望,可能是我人生中第一次,我希望我没吃那顿汉堡王。

Has anybody else had a clean victory against the 4-stack burger at BK? Let me know – I need some moral support right now!

有谁在汉堡王战胜过这个4层汉堡吗?告诉我-现在我需要一些精神上的支持!

16 Comments


  1. after doing you i’m sure i can take in that whole 4 patty burger in my mouth… :P


  2. I really like your entry! I wish I knew chinese to comprehend more :(


  3. Hmmm, think you better hand your penis in at the desk on your way out son!

    No excuses.


  4. I think those are illegal in some parts of the world… XD


  5. You are lucky to have anti-obisity instinct. Leave those burger monster alone. I think “fat-tax” is really necessary now.


  6. The above Jake was not me, just wanna make that clear. :)

    Oli, I feel your pain. About an hour after I ate this poison pill I started feeling nauseous too. Then I thought it would be a good chance to ditch out on work, but the crappy feeling unfortunately never got quite to the go home sick level for me. It just seemed to last forever, like shanghai bus/taxi rides. I think we’re gonna see some Burger King documentaries like Super-Size Me soon thanks to this sammich… Note to anyone thinking about ordering this bohemoth: it’s definitely not the burger to eat if you wanna make a good impression on your dinner guests, ladies, or bosses. You’ll look like a caveman eating this. But then again, when you’re at burger king, who cares?


  7. Oh yeah. One more thing. Ban christock from everywhere.


    • Oh so this is the guy you dumped me for, Oli? Doesn’t look much, probably too sad in his life that he can’t do anything more than spite others ;)

      You can do better Jake, or was it the other Jake? Oh you’re soooo confusing! Get real loser :p


  8. 我太喜欢你了,你是我的偶像,我一直被那个汉堡伤害,直到今天,我找到了组织,我会一直关注你的。


  9. I haven’t tangled with the Burger King 4-stack, but I’ve taken down 2 In N Out 4x4s in one sitting, so I don’t think it should be a big deal. I’ll go tomorrow and see what is up.

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/27061001_8543fa9e2a.jpg


  10. Of course, that was almost 20 years ago, when I was much thinner. . . and also had just gone through 3 hours of basketball practice.

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