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I like to think of myself as an expert on Fast Food. A connoisseur, if you will. My love for cheap, delicious, (generally) “beef” based nutrition can be traced back to my youth – growing up in a remote rural time-warp with no shops (never mind a burger bar) meant that they always held some kind of magical charm for me.


I pride myself on my knowledge of the industry, indeed if you search for Mcdonald’s Shanghai you should find my ‘self-help’ guide on ordering delivery here in the biggest city in China. However, all good things must come to an end, and a couple of days ago I met my match.


The Burger King 4-stack.


Theoretically, it was my dream burger. Bread, four burgers, two bacon, mayo and a little ketchup. No huge chunks of onion to distract you, no disgusting tomato…just flame grilled beef and a smile. What could go wrong?


burger king four burgers China

I began eating, and it was heavenly. I would often take bites from the top instead of the side (due to the brick-like nature of the burgers) – it was an experience to behold…who could have designed such a marvel? But just like in Independence Day, the beautiful strange suddenly turned on me…


burger king super burger

I ate it, all but one bite. I felt fuller than usual after eating fast-food (I usually eat very quickly, so I don’t feel full until it hits my stomach 10 minutes later). I nibbled some fries and ate some ice-cream (free sundae!)…but an uneasy feeling was sweeping over me.


Perhaps a walk around the mall would help digestion? I stood up to go, but a feeling of light-headed numbness swept over me. THE BURGER WAS KILLING ME!


The next two hours were a constant battle between man and meat. I couldn’t concentrate, had early-onset meat sweats and wished, for perhaps the first time in my life, that I hadn’t eaten that Burger King meal.


Has anybody else had a clean victory against the 4-stack burger at BK? Let me know – I need some moral support right now!



  1. after doing you i’m sure i can take in that whole 4 patty burger in my mouth… :P

  2. I really like your entry! I wish I knew chinese to comprehend more :(

  3. Hmmm, think you better hand your penis in at the desk on your way out son!

    No excuses.

  4. I think those are illegal in some parts of the world… XD

  5. You are lucky to have anti-obisity instinct. Leave those burger monster alone. I think “fat-tax” is really necessary now.

  6. The above Jake was not me, just wanna make that clear. :)

    Oli, I feel your pain. About an hour after I ate this poison pill I started feeling nauseous too. Then I thought it would be a good chance to ditch out on work, but the crappy feeling unfortunately never got quite to the go home sick level for me. It just seemed to last forever, like shanghai bus/taxi rides. I think we’re gonna see some Burger King documentaries like Super-Size Me soon thanks to this sammich… Note to anyone thinking about ordering this bohemoth: it’s definitely not the burger to eat if you wanna make a good impression on your dinner guests, ladies, or bosses. You’ll look like a caveman eating this. But then again, when you’re at burger king, who cares?

  7. Oh yeah. One more thing. Ban christock from everywhere.

    • Oh so this is the guy you dumped me for, Oli? Doesn’t look much, probably too sad in his life that he can’t do anything more than spite others ;)

      You can do better Jake, or was it the other Jake? Oh you’re soooo confusing! Get real loser :p

  8. 我太喜欢你了,你是我的偶像,我一直被那个汉堡伤害,直到今天,我找到了组织,我会一直关注你的。

  9. I haven’t tangled with the Burger King 4-stack, but I’ve taken down 2 In N Out 4x4s in one sitting, so I don’t think it should be a big deal. I’ll go tomorrow and see what is up.

  10. Of course, that was almost 20 years ago, when I was much thinner. . . and also had just gone through 3 hours of basketball practice.

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