A Message To The Koreas – 致北韩和南韩的消息

With tensions between North and South Korea rising, my buddy at LengXiaoHua has sent a message which puts into words what the majority of people are thinking…

韩国和朝鲜的紧张关系升级，我的爱说冷笑话朋友发了一个消息给我，内容关于大多数人对于这个事情的想法…

- – - -> www.lengxiaohua.net

R U Chinese? – 你是中国人吗？

When I went to Hong Kong this summer, I bought my ticket through Ctrip (Chinese version). I only found out recently that the Chinese and English language versions were not 100% the same – and the ‘local’ version offers some really good deals that you don’t seem to be ablr to buy on the English. FOREIGNER DISCRIMINATION! I’m upset…

今年夏天我去香港的时候，我在携程网（中文版）上买的票。我才发现原来中文和英文版本不是100％一样的 – ‘本地’版提供了一些非常核算的产品，可是你在英语版上是买不到的。西人歧视！我很不高兴…

So anyway I bought a ‘package deal’ on the site, which means flights, hotel, mobile sim card, subway card, airport transfer etc are all included in the price, which in this case was something like 2800rmb (2 nights).

不管怎样后来我在网站上买了一个套餐，包括机票，酒店，移动SIM卡，地铁卡，机场接送等都包含在里面了，这样一套大概在2800元（2晚）这样。

I chose the cheapest hotel from the choices I was given, and I got very lucky, because it was fantastic! (It was called L’Hotel Nina).

我选了套餐里面最便宜的一个酒店，我觉得我非常幸运，因为它太棒了！ （它叫如心海景酒店）。

Huge windows! Great view!

大玻璃窗，视野很好！

The only downside was that they didn’t seem extremely organized in the morning when people were arriving (the rooms weren’t emptied yet, so people had to wait). I didn’t mind too much, because I just went to a coffee shop.

唯一的缺点是，他们早上的运作不是特别好，人们到酒店时（房间都还没有清空，所以人们不得不等待）。我不太介意这个，因为我可以去喝杯咖啡。

I could have gone to a restaurant inside the hotel, but it seemed to be aimed at mainlanders…

我可以去酒店内的餐厅，不过似乎它也是针对国内人士的…

Question: R U CHINESE?

题为：你是中国人吗？

More FOREIGNER DISCRIMINATION!

又是西人歧视！

Amazing New Brand – 惊人的新品牌

This new supermarket chain could become the biggest brand name in China – or even the world!

这个连锁超市的牌子可能成为中国最大的品牌——甚至是全球性的！

I’m not 100% sure whether this is an official endorsement, but it definitely looks like a shop you can trust!

不敢打包票这是不是通过了官方支持，可是这个商店看上去值得信赖！

HK Girls – 香港女孩

As soon as I stepped off the plane in Hong Kong this summer, I realised why everyone always talks about HK girls and their fashion sense…

今年夏天我一到香港下了飞机，就明白了为什么大家总爱谈论香港女孩子和她们的时尚品味了……

…they really are ahead of their time!

……他们非常具有超前意识！

Haibao Kidnapped! – 海宝被绑架！

I went to Paris a couple of weeks ago, and found out some very troubling news about Shanghai’s Expo mascot – Haibao.

几个星期前我去了次巴黎， 发现了一些令人烦恼的新闻是关于上海世博会吉祥物—海宝的。

He has been kidnapped!

他被绑架了！

I managed to take a photo of the victim, who was in a shop in the Eurostar terminal…being forced to wear disgusting French clothes!

我拍下了受害者在Eurostar terminal店里的照片……他被迫穿上了难看的法国衣服！

…but what I can’t understand is…why doesn’t he look unhappy?!

…可是我不明白的是……为什么他看起来很开心？！

Who wants a facial? – 谁想要面膜？

None of us is getting any younger, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to rub this into my face yet…

没有人能越来越年轻，可是我不确定我是否准备好了把这个抹到我的脸上去……

Does your back hurt? – 你的背疼吗?

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I think that might be a little late…

我觉得有一点晚…

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A very serious issue – 一个非常严重的问题

Chinese cultural society has evolved very quickly over the past twenty years, and people are now being forced to deal with issues that perhaps 20 years ago were not issues.

在过去的20年里，中国文化社会发展得非常迅速，然而人们也在被迫要面对一些20年前没有的问题。

People are much more liberal than they were in times before, and it shows – on the street, in cafés, in bars…but this also means that there are new problems which have developed, and one of the largest ones is the media portrayal of the female, and how some women – especially young women – are treated like meat.

人们比以前更自由了，这个表现在 – 街上，咖啡馆，酒吧里…但是这也意味着有新的问题产生，其中最大的一个是媒体对女性的写照，以及如何对待女性 – 尤其是年轻妇女 – 男人对她们只有肉欲。

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However important that sensitive topic is, something that is much more important that we need to deal with RIGHT NOW is ACTUAL MEAT – so for God’s sake people…get a ROOM! I don’t want to see my pig’s trotter on the street before I stuff it in my mouth!

不管这个敏感的话题有多么的重要，然而现在我们急需处理的更为重要的是这些真正的肉 – 看在上帝的份上…给它们一个房间吧！我不想在街上看到的这些猪蹄，最后进到我的嘴里去！

I’m going vegetarian for the next 20 minutes.

之后的20分钟我要做一个素食者。

Celebrity Lookalike – 相像的名人

I’ve seen a few lookalikes in my time in China, but this one has to be the cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercisest to ‘separated at birth’ I’ve seen so far:

在中国我见过很多长得很相像的人了，可是这个是我至今看到得最像的非双胞胎：

Can you guess?

你能分辨出来吗？

Could this be the Colonel’s long lost brother – the General?!

这会不会是上校失散多年的兄弟——将军？！