Save Coal-miner Zheng Da Shi! – 拯救矿工郑大世!

After losing 7-0 against Portugal, it seems that the crying footballers of North Korea may be going directly to the coal mines…The guys from KDS forum have started a campaign to stop this from happening!

与葡萄牙打成7比0以后，看来可怜的朝鲜队真的要去挖煤了…KDS论坛上的人们已经发起了拯救他们的战役了！

Save Coal-miner Zheng Da Shi!

拯救矿工郑大世！

Shanghai Fatness Club – 上海健身房

While walking around an apartment compound near Hongqiao golf club, I stumbled across this brilliantly titled gym.

当我走在虹桥高尔夫俱乐附近的一个小区附近的时候，偶然发现一个名字发光的健身房。

You may be able to do a little Lose Weight Exercise there…but surely your mind would always be on the Sunday Lunch (Yorkshire pudding, mashed potato, roast potato….ROAST BEEF) which was waiting for you afterwards….

你可能可以在那里做一些锻炼…但你一定会总是挂念着周日的午餐（约克郡布丁，土豆泥，烤土豆…烤牛肉）正在锻炼后等着你…

BEEEF CAKKKKEEE!

牛肉饼！

An apology to those outside – 为那些门外的人感到抱歉

If you’re standing outside my building right now trying to get me to buzz you in, then I’m really sorry…

如果你现在在我家楼下准备按铃让我开门，那么我感到很抱歉…

…I think the doorbell is broken.

…我觉得我的门铃坏了.

Lawsuit Waiting To Happen – 等着起诉的发生

I noticed that one of my favourite eateries, Mike’s, has had its trademark infringed by a soulless multinational from the USA! I’m not going to mention where I saw the other company…but here is Mike and his super-shop!

我发现了我最喜欢的餐厅之一Mike’s被一个美国的跨国公司侵权了商标！我不想说我是在哪里看到的…但这里是Mike和他的超级商店！

I hope Mike takes McDonald’s Shanghai to court and sues them for every penny they’ve got.

我希望Mike把麦当劳上海告上法庭，起诉他们得到的每一分钱。

Worst Price Promise Ever – 最烂的承诺

Already famous for their strange customer service, Croissants de France Shanghai (or CDF as they like to be known) have tried to go one better – with a global-financial-crisis-busting ‘price promise’!

这里早已闻名于他们古怪的服务，上海的可颂坊（或他们更爱被称为CDF民防部队）又出了新花招来应对全球融危机-‘价格承诺’ ！

So what did they come up with? Well erm….not much…

那么他们到底想出了什么呢？…也没什么特别的…

I promise my next blog post will be just as good as this one.

我保证我的下一篇博客会和这个一样好。

How rumours start? – 谣言是怎么来的？

Breaking news from the official French Open tennis tournament website:

来自法国网球公开赛官方网站的最新消息：

Check out the caption! I’m not sure that Federer’s wife would be very happy to read this!

看标题(French kiss = 舌吻)！我觉得费德勒的老婆看到这个可能会不太高兴！

Good work Dad! – 干得好，老爸！

My parents don’t really understand blogging, websites, the internet or how I could possibly have retired at the age of 21*….but my Dad is pretty good at spotting potential blog material.

我爸妈不太了解博客，网站，网络还有我怎么能在21*岁就退休了 …但我的爸爸很善于发现潜在博客素材。

From a distance – an innocent clothes shop…

从远处看 – 这是一个单纯的服装店…

Up cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise – a clandestine massage parlour?

靠近点 – 一个秘密的按摩院？

Boy and Cow – 男孩和牛

I’m pretty sure this type of picture is the reason that you’re not supposed to touch the exhibits in sculpture parks…

我敢肯定这样的照片就是不让你在雕塑公园触摸展品的原因所在了…

.
.
.

Terrible flavour decisions – 可怕的怪口味

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Doraemon. Anyone who has lived or worked with me in the past knows that I love jelly beans. Imagine my excitement when I saw in my local Kedi that these two brilliant things had been combined!

了解我的人都知道我有多爱多啦A梦。跟我一起生活或者工作过的人也都知道我有多爱果冻豆。当我在可的看到这两个辉煌的东西被合并在一起的时候，你能想象我有多激动吗！

They looked amazing…and were very cheap! Maybe 3rmb (~30p) for a big pot! I was pretty tired and hungry (I was on the way home from work) so I opened up the pot and threw a few into my mouth.

他们看起来很棒…而且也很便宜！大概3块钱（〜30便士）有一大瓶！我又累又饿（我在下班回家的路上），所以我开了一瓶，一把扔到我嘴里。

Texture: Great!
口感：棒极了！

Crunch to chewy ratio: Great!
咀嚼度：非常好！

Taste: ….weird
味道：…奇怪

I couldn’t quite put my finger on the taste. I had tried the orange one, but it tasted like…vegetables. Weird vegetables.

我搞不清楚这是什么口味。我试过了橘黄色的这个，可是吃起来味道像…蔬菜。奇怪的蔬菜。

In panic, I looked at the pot…

有点害怕，我就看了下瓶子…

What the hell?! WHY would you do that?! Carrot flavoured jelly beans? Filled with fear, I looked at the red ones…I was hoping…praying…

什么鬼东西？！为什么这样对我？！胡萝卜味的果冻豆？可怕，我看着红色的那瓶…我希望… …祈祷…

Oh my god…they did it. Tomato flavour sweets. What sort of sick and twisted mind would do this?

哦，天哪…他们真的这么做了。番茄味的糖。什么样的疯子和心灵扭曲的人会做这种东西？

I’ve now come to the conclusion that this is just to make foreigners feel unwelcome in China. I have more proof…from a company that we can usually depend on – Lays (Walkers)

现在我得出的结论是，这是为了让老外感到不受中国欢迎。我还有一些证据…一个我们都知道的公司 – 乐事

It seems that recently Lays have been producing flavours out of dishes that foreigners HATE more than anything else! Check this one out:

看来乐事最近也已经研发出了让外国人讨厌的口味！看看这个：

Although there are some masochists who like their face to be paralysed, I’m pretty sure most Westerners at least try to stay away from that hotpot.

虽然是有一些喜欢受惊吓的受虐狂，但是我敢肯定大多数西方人都要尽量远离火锅了。

That’s not the worst one though…

这还不是最差的一个…

Hot and sour fish’s HEAD! The head is even on the packet! Insane. They did put a hot girl on the packet…

酸辣鱼的头！这个头竟然还在包装上！疯了。尽管他们在包装上放了一个辣妹…

But they left the big, ugly, dirty, fish head (with eyeballs) there too!

但是，他们留了个又大，又丑，又脏的鱼头（还有眼珠子）在那里！

What’s next – Chicken feet flavour?!

之后会是什么——鸡爪味？