Chinese cultural society has evolved very quickly over the past twenty years, and people are now being forced to deal with issues that perhaps 20 years ago were not issues.

在过去的20年里，中国文化社会发展得非常迅速，然而人们也在被迫要面对一些20年前没有的问题。

People are much more liberal than they were in times before, and it shows – on the street, in cafés, in bars…but this also means that there are new problems which have developed, and one of the largest ones is the media portrayal of the female, and how some women – especially young women – are treated like meat.

人们比以前更自由了，这个表现在 – 街上，咖啡馆，酒吧里…但是这也意味着有新的问题产生，其中最大的一个是媒体对女性的写照，以及如何对待女性 – 尤其是年轻妇女 – 男人对她们只有肉欲。

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However important that sensitive topic is, something that is much more important that we need to deal with RIGHT NOW is ACTUAL MEAT – so for God’s sake people…get a ROOM! I don’t want to see my pig’s trotter on the street before I stuff it in my mouth!

不管这个敏感的话题有多么的重要，然而现在我们急需处理的更为重要的是这些真正的肉 – 看在上帝的份上…给它们一个房间吧！我不想在街上看到的这些猪蹄，最后进到我的嘴里去！

I’m going vegetarian for the next 20 minutes.

之后的20分钟我要做一个素食者。

I’ve seen a few lookalikes in my time in China, but this one has to be the closest to ‘separated at birth’ I’ve seen so far:

在中国我见过很多长得很相像的人了，可是这个是我至今看到得最像的非双胞胎：

Can you guess?

你能分辨出来吗？

Could this be the Colonel’s long lost brother – the General?!

这会不会是上校失散多年的兄弟——将军？！

I noticed that one of my favourite eateries, Mike’s, has had its trademark infringed by a soulless multinational from the USA! I’m not going to mention where I saw the other company…but here is Mike and his super-shop!

我发现了我最喜欢的餐厅之一Mike’s被一个美国的跨国公司侵权了商标！我不想说我是在哪里看到的…但这里是Mike和他的超级商店！

I hope Mike takes McDonald’s Shanghai to court and sues them for every penny they’ve got.

我希望Mike把麦当劳上海告上法庭，起诉他们得到的每一分钱。

Already famous for their strange customer service, Croissants de France Shanghai (or CDF as they like to be known) have tried to go one better – with a global-financial-crisis-busting ‘price promise’!

这里早已闻名于他们古怪的服务，上海的可颂坊（或他们更爱被称为CDF民防部队）又出了新花招来应对全球融危机-‘价格承诺’ ！

So what did they come up with? Well erm….not much…

那么他们到底想出了什么呢？…也没什么特别的…

I promise my next blog post will be just as good as this one.

我保证我的下一篇博客会和这个一样好。

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Doraemon. Anyone who has lived or worked with me in the past knows that I love jelly beans. Imagine my excitement when I saw in my local Kedi that these two brilliant things had been combined!

了解我的人都知道我有多爱多啦A梦。跟我一起生活或者工作过的人也都知道我有多爱果冻豆。当我在可的看到这两个辉煌的东西被合并在一起的时候，你能想象我有多激动吗！

They looked amazing…and were very cheap! Maybe 3rmb (~30p) for a big pot! I was pretty tired and hungry (I was on the way home from work) so I opened up the pot and threw a few into my mouth.

他们看起来很棒…而且也很便宜！大概3块钱（〜30便士）有一大瓶！我又累又饿（我在下班回家的路上），所以我开了一瓶，一把扔到我嘴里。

Texture: Great!
口感：棒极了！

Crunch to chewy ratio: Great!
咀嚼度：非常好！

Taste: ….weird
味道：…奇怪

I couldn’t quite put my finger on the taste. I had tried the orange one, but it tasted like…vegetables. Weird vegetables.

我搞不清楚这是什么口味。我试过了橘黄色的这个，可是吃起来味道像…蔬菜。奇怪的蔬菜。

In panic, I looked at the pot…

有点害怕，我就看了下瓶子…

What the hell?! WHY would you do that?! Carrot flavoured jelly beans? Filled with fear, I looked at the red ones…I was hoping…praying…

什么鬼东西？！为什么这样对我？！胡萝卜味的果冻豆？可怕，我看着红色的那瓶…我希望… …祈祷…

Oh my god…they did it. Tomato flavour sweets. What sort of sick and twisted mind would do this?

哦，天哪…他们真的这么做了。番茄味的糖。什么样的疯子和心灵扭曲的人会做这种东西？

I’ve now come to the conclusion that this is just to make foreigners feel unwelcome in China. I have more proof…from a company that we can usually depend on – Lays (Walkers)

现在我得出的结论是，这是为了让老外感到不受中国欢迎。我还有一些证据…一个我们都知道的公司 – 乐事

It seems that recently Lays have been producing flavours out of dishes that foreigners HATE more than anything else! Check this one out:

看来乐事最近也已经研发出了让外国人讨厌的口味！看看这个：

Although there are some masochists who like their face to be paralysed, I’m pretty sure most Westerners at least try to stay away from that hotpot.

虽然是有一些喜欢受惊吓的受虐狂，但是我敢肯定大多数西方人都要尽量远离火锅了。

That’s not the worst one though…

这还不是最差的一个…

Hot and sour fish’s HEAD! The head is even on the packet! Insane. They did put a hot girl on the packet…

酸辣鱼的头！这个头竟然还在包装上！疯了。尽管他们在包装上放了一个辣妹…

But they left the big, ugly, dirty, fish head (with eyeballs) there too!

但是，他们留了个又大，又丑，又脏的鱼头（还有眼珠子）在那里！

What’s next – Chicken feet flavour?!

之后会是什么——鸡爪味？

We went out for teppanyaki the other night to celebrate…errr…I mean…commiserate the departure of BRO-nur to Turkey. It was a great meal, made even better by the variety of nations and languages represented at the table. France, China, Belgium, HK, Turkey – and of course UK! Even our chef (the guy who stands at the table and cooks for you) wanted to join the group….but we politely said no.

有一天，我们去自助烧烤餐厅庆祝…呃…我是说…去为我们的兄弟Onur去土耳其践行。晚餐好极了，外加各种国籍以及语言，让这个晚餐更加棒了。法国，中国，比利时，香港，土耳其- 当然还有英国！甚至我们的厨师（站在我们桌前为你下厨的人）都想加入…可是我们礼貌地拒绝了。

I guess old habits die hard!

我猜是禀性难移！

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I wrote here – so many people have called me ‘lazy’…and it’s sort of true! My head’s been under the radar, but I have been:

难以置信我那么久才到这里来写东西-超多人说我‘懒’…讨厌的是被他们说中了！我最近很低调,可是我仍然：

- Recovering after going to my friend’s wedding in Hong Kong (Congratulations Fiona and Tom!)…
- 已经从我香港朋友的婚礼中恢复过来了（恭喜Fiona和Tom!）…
- Working on so many different websites that my brain is spinning….
- 制作很多不同的网站…
- Eating sunflower seeds…
- 吃香瓜子…
- Watching the NBA on International League Pass…
- 看NBA…
- And of course…playing with Google Buzz!
- 当然还有…玩GBuzz！

…oh yeah, and working 10.30am → 9.30pm.
…哦，而且工作从早上10：30-晚上9：30.

Anyway, I promise that now it’s the YEAR OF THE TIGER, I will try to be more organized. What is your New Year’s promise? And what the hell is a GAROUPA?

无论如何，现在起我保证在虎年里，有组织纪律一点。你新年的保证是什么？ 还有GAROUPA到底是什么东东？

I didn’t realise until recently (my history knowledge is a little poor) that China and Japan are not exactly the best of friends. I’m not going into the details, but suffice to say there are long held prejudices that seem to be holding the two countries back from becoming the best of friends (any time soon at least).

最近我才意识到（我的历史是有点差）中国和日本不是最好的朋友。细节我不说了，但我只想说两国要成为好朋友还要段时间（不过至少以后总会好的）。

Japanese culture, however, is thriving in Shanghai. There are lots of little shops and boutiques with imported stuff, and watching anime is a favourite pastime of a high percentage of teenagers and early 20 year olds (basically anyone without a job who has the time to watch 500 episodes of One Piece).

然而日本的文化在上海蓬勃发展。有许多小商店和精品店进口很多日本的东西，看动漫可以说是很多20几岁的青少年最喜欢做的事情（基本上无业的人会花时间看500集的海贼王）。

I went to the local Japanese import food shop the other day and was amazed with the selection – but had to double-take when I noticed McVITIE’S BISCUITS sitting there! I could hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of some chocolate Hobnobs to dunk into my coffee…but these ones had a special ingredient.

一天我去了上海的一个日本进口食品商店，那里的东西多得吓死我 – 但在我看到 McVITIE’S饼干的时候，我觉得不得不三思而行！对于巧克力饼干的美味，我产生了一种难以抑制的兴奋以及憧憬…想象着把消化饼蘸着我的咖啡吃……可是，这些饼干有一个特殊的成分…一个很奇怪的成分…

Can you guess what it was? (Guess first, then click to see):

你猜是什么？（先猜，然后点击看）：

You dirty Japs! What have you done to our biscuits?!

小日本鬼子！你们对我的饼干做了什么？！

Today we went for lunch at Chris Cafe, on Shanghai’s Nan Hui Lu near Beijing Xi Lu (behind Plaza 66). It looks pretty crappy from the outside (actually it always looks closed), but once you go inside (and up the stairs) it’s a really nice, HK style restaurant with a pretty wide range of dishes (Brocolli gratin = the bomb!)…

今天我们去了上海南汇路靠近北京西路（恒隆广场背后）的基斯餐厅吃午饭。这个餐厅从外面看很不入流（事实上它总是看起来像是关门的），但是一旦你走进去了（并且上楼），那就真的很漂亮，港式餐厅，里面有很多种菜式（奶油西兰花=炸弹！）…

The food, however, was not the main attraction. At the top of the stairs (on the 2nd floor) is a delightful arrangement of lamps…

不过菜肴不是那里最吸引人的。在楼梯上（2楼）有一组非常漂亮的灯饰…

…I don’t usually like dogs, but these ones are great! They’re quiet, they don’t crap everywhere, they do what you tell them…

…通常我不喜欢狗，可是这些是在是很棒！他们很安静，他们不会到处大便，他们做你要他们做的事情…

…but as with so many things in this crazy world, if you look closer you will uncover a horrible truth…

…可是这个疯狂的世界有很多东西，如果你靠近看，就会发现被掩盖了的可怕的真相…

…now I know what they do to these poor animals, I’ll never go back!

…现在我知道他们对这些可怜的动物做了什么，我再也不会去了！

After uncovering the Shanghai Male Escort Service, I was even more shocked to find that a new brothel has recently opened right next to Hongkou Football stadium in Shanghai. I would never have known, but the shameless owner decided to give out namecards on the street!

在暴光上海男陪服务以后,最近我更惊讶地发现了一个开在虹口足球场附近的新的妓院。 我并不想知道的，但是无耻的业主在街上到处发名片!

I decided to check the info, and sure enough…the title of the filthy establishment was right there for all to see!

我决定看一下上面的信息，然后足够的确信了…那个肮脏的机构就在那里让所有人看！

I couldn’t decipher the menu, but I think the majority of it just talked about ‘fruity’ and ‘juicy’ girls…disgusting…

我没法辨认那个菜单，可是我想其中的大多数都在说关于‘有果味的’和‘多汁的’女孩子们…恶心死了…