What have those crazy Japs done now? (那些疯狂小日本都做了些什么？)

I didn’t realise until recently (my history knowledge is a little poor) that China and Japan are not exactly the best of friends. I’m not going into the details, but suffice to say there are long held prejudices that seem to be holding the two countries back from becoming the best of friends (any time soon at least).

最近我才意识到（我的历史是有点差）中国和日本不是最好的朋友。细节我不说了，但我只想说两国要成为好朋友还要段时间（不过至少以后总会好的）。

Japanese culture, however, is thriving in Shanghai. There are lots of little shops and boutiques with imported stuff, and watching anime is a favourite pastime of a high percentage of teenagers and early 20 year olds (basically anyone without a job who has the time to watch 500 episodes of One Piece).

然而日本的文化在上海蓬勃发展。有许多小商店和精品店进口很多日本的东西，看动漫可以说是很多20几岁的青少年最喜欢做的事情（基本上无业的人会花时间看500集的海贼王）。

I went to the local Japanese import food shop the other day and was amazed with the selection – but had to double-take when I noticed McVITIE’S BISCUITS sitting there! I could hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of some chocolate Hobnobs to dunk into my coffee…but these ones had a special ingredient.

一天我去了上海的一个日本进口食品商店，那里的东西多得吓死我 – 但在我看到 McVITIE’S饼干的时候，我觉得不得不三思而行！对于巧克力饼干的美味，我产生了一种难以抑制的兴奋以及憧憬…想象着把消化饼蘸着我的咖啡吃……可是，这些饼干有一个特殊的成分…一个很奇怪的成分…

Can you guess what it was? (Guess first, then click to see):

你猜是什么？（先猜，然后点击看）：

You dirty Japs! What have you done to our biscuits?!

小日本鬼子！你们对我的饼干做了什么？！

Chris Cafe, Shanghai (上海基斯餐厅)

Today we went for lunch at Chris Cafe, on Shanghai’s Nan Hui Lu near Beijing Xi Lu (behind Plaza 66). It looks pretty crappy from the outside (actually it always looks cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercised), but once you go inside (and up the stairs) it’s a really nice, HK style restaurant with a pretty wide range of dishes (Brocolli gratin = the bomb!)…

今天我们去了上海南汇路靠近北京西路（恒隆广场背后）的基斯餐厅吃午饭。这个餐厅从外面看很不入流（事实上它总是看起来像是关门的），但是一旦你走进去了（并且上楼），那就真的很漂亮，港式餐厅，里面有很多种菜式（奶油西兰花=炸弹！）…

The food, however, was not the main attraction. At the top of the stairs (on the 2nd floor) is a delightful arrangement of lamps…

不过菜肴不是那里最吸引人的。在楼梯上（2楼）有一组非常漂亮的灯饰…

…I don’t usually like dogs, but these ones are great! They’re quiet, they don’t crap everywhere, they do what you tell them…

…通常我不喜欢狗，可是这些是在是很棒！他们很安静，他们不会到处大便，他们做你要他们做的事情…

…but as with so many things in this crazy world, if you look cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser you will uncover a horrible truth…

…可是这个疯狂的世界有很多东西，如果你靠近看，就会发现被掩盖了的可怕的真相…

…now I know what they do to these poor animals, I’ll never go back!

…现在我知道他们对这些可怜的动物做了什么，我再也不会去了！

New Shanghai brothel (新上海妓院)

After uncovering the Shanghai Male Escort Service, I was even more shocked to find that a new brothel has recently opened right next to Hongkou Football stadium in Shanghai. I would never have known, but the shameless owner decided to give out namecards on the street!

在暴光上海男陪服务以后,最近我更惊讶地发现了一个开在虹口足球场附近的新的妓院。 我并不想知道的，但是无耻的业主在街上到处发名片!

I decided to check the info, and sure enough…the title of the filthy establishment was right there for all to see!

我决定看一下上面的信息，然后足够的确信了…那个肮脏的机构就在那里让所有人看！

I couldn’t decipher the menu, but I think the majority of it just talked about ‘fruity’ and ‘juicy’ girls…disgusting…

我没法辨认那个菜单，可是我想其中的大多数都在说关于‘有果味的’和‘多汁的’女孩子们…恶心死了…

Not all of China is being Westernized (中国不是所有的东西都在西方化)

Even though a lot of people complain that China (and Shanghai in particular) is becoming the 52nd State, it’s refreshing to see that some products are still definitely not being marketed to foreigners…

即使有很多人在抱怨中国（特别是上海）正在变成第52个州，可是从有些商品还是可以看出，那一定并不是针对老外市场的…

The title may have been translated, but I wonder whether the experience will translate well for a Western audience…

标题可能已经被翻译了，但是我不知道这种经历对于一个西方的读者是不是翻译地够好…

Combo combo combo (套餐 套餐 套餐)

So we went to Babela’s kitchen the other day…if you don’t know it’s a weird “western-fusion” (read: cheap italian) restaurant that serves LOADS of different weird dishes. Pizza, pasta, potato waffles and…and…

有一天我们去了巴贝拉…如果你不知道，那我告诉你，那是一个提供很多奇怪的菜肴的奇怪的‘西餐厅’（注释：便宜的意大利菜）。批萨，意大利面，薯格和…和…

Can you guess what it is? I’ll give you a clue…it’s a mixture of three of the best things in the world!

你猜这是什么？我来给你个线索…它综合了世界上最好的3样东西！

Yep, you guessed it! Fried (best cooking method) + Banana (Best fruit) + Beer (Best). Delicious!

对！你猜对了！油炸（最好的烹饪方式）+香蕉（最好的水果）+啤酒（最好的）。美味！

Woooo! Down the hatch!

哇！干杯！

I don’t know why I think this is funny (我不知道为什么我觉得这个很有意思)

Ok, actually, it’s two 50+ year old people, on a moped, with an umbrella, wearing formal clothes, in 90 degree heat…what’s not to like?

好,事实上这是2个大概50多岁的人,在一辆助动车上,还撑着伞,穿着很正式的衣服,在90度的高温天气…这样有感觉凉快吗?

I’m sorry…what flavour? (不好意思…你要什么口味的?)

Tesco’s translation department is getting really lazy.

乐购负责翻译的部门真是懒死了.

Burger King can’t fool me! (汉堡王耍不了我!)

So I saw this sign in the local Burger King…

我在本地的汉堡王看到这个标志…

It says “Come to BK and buy a drink, and you can get a Whopper for just 1rmb (£0.10p, 0.5rm, €0.10c, $0.14c)”.

上面写着’来汉堡王买任意中饮料,加一元(£0.10p, 0.5rm, €0.10c, $0.14c)得皇堡’.

BUT THEY CAN’T FOOL ME! Check out the date:

可是他们耍不了我!看一下日期:

April Fool’s Day! Or wait, is it April Fools’ Day? Either way…surely this can’t be true! Because I have no pride to Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise, I will go, check it out and report back…

4月愚人节!哦,等一下,是愚弄人的日子吗? 都一样…这一定不是真的!
因为我很自信我不会输,所以我会去探个究竟然后回来汇报…

Funniest restaurant menu ever (Part 2) （有史以来最有趣的餐厅菜单(第二篇) ）

Here’s the second part of the Chinglish disaster that is the menu that we ordered from on Chinese New Year…enjoy!

这是春节时候我们点菜看到菜单中的中式英语的第二部分…慢慢享受!

Ok this first one isn’t technically Chinglish, I just wanted to show you it because it’s funny!

学术上讲,第一部分不是那么中式英语,我给你们看是因为它很有趣!

Ok I can’t choose between these two…they’re BOTH my favourite! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?! Anything is possible! It’s China baby!

我无法在这两个中间做选择…他们都是我的最爱!有可能吗?一切皆有可能!这是中国宝贝!