At Shanghai Pudong airport (PVG), the toilets (just like the majority of new public toilets across Shanghai) are luxurious. Thanks to the Expo and the Olympics before them, the standards of public conveniences have sky-rocketed across the country.

在上海浦东机场（PVG）的洗手间（就像很多上海的大部分公厕一样）很豪华。这个得感谢今年的世博会和之前的奥运会，使得全国对公厕的标准要求急速飙升了。

The airport is taking it one step further, however, and has decided to fight against one of the biggest problems that face urinals across the world. The piss-puddle.

这个机场做得更进一步，它决定挑战世界各国尿池面临的最大的问题之一。在水坑小便。

This sign, just above the urinal, is the first step in the battle…

尿池正上方的指示写的是在这场战斗中的第一步…

…although let’s not forget, men aren’t very good at doing two things at once. Read/Pee/Read/Pree/Pread/Ree/Pee/Read….DOHHHHH! It happened again!

…但我们不要忘了，人们并不擅长同时做好两件事。读/尿尿/读/尿尿/读/尿尿/尿尿/读…！又来了！

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There’s something about the men in Shanghai that I think is a little strange….

我总觉得上海男人有点奇怪…

….but I just can’t figure out what it is…

…可是我说不清楚怪在哪里…

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Although I have not been able to get any official comment from the Chinese police, after looking at this photographic evidence collected after a seconds-long investigation, there can be no doubt that new recruits in the Chinese police force are humiliated and hazed, to break down their spirit before training.

虽然我没能找到任何官方对中国警察的评价，可是在看过这张照片的下一秒钟，便可知道中国警察新兵部队的新兵在他们培训崩溃前，所受的羞辱和欺负了。

How else could you explain being forced to ride this bike around town?

不然你还能怎么解释，被迫在街上骑这样的自行车？

The golden rule of life: If a bicycle has a foot-stand, you can not catch criminals with it.

生存的黄金法则：如果一辆自行车有撑脚架，你一定没法靠它抓到罪犯。

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Look at this picture.

看下面这个图。

I was coming home from work last night when I suddenly opened the window and stuck my phone out and snapped a picture. Can you guess what had caught my eye? What was it that was so important that I braved the freezing night air to capture?

昨晚在我回家路上，当我突然开窗，突然拿出手机，突然拍下了一张照片的时候。你才我看到了什么? 是什么那么重要，以至于在那么冷的天气，尤其是晚上，我要开窗拍照？

Have another look!

再看一下！

When you’re ready to know the answer, have a look at the Photoshop enhanced version (below)!

如果你准备好揭开谜底了，那么看以下 PS以后加强版效果（下面）！

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Now THAT is a personalised number plate :)

现在这成了一个个性化的车牌了 :)

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So I made a snap decision and bought a Blackberry. It wasn’t the stereotypical snap decision (because it took me three weeks from the time it was made to receiving the goods) but all the same, it was a good choice.

我做了仓促的决定去买了黑莓。其实也不能说是个仓促的决定（因为花了我3个星期等我的货到），不过不管怎样，还不错。

I’m not going to tell you how much I love it or how amazing it is, because right now I’m using about 4% of its capacity (no push mail, no internet*, twitter slow, barely any apps). That said, I am taking advantage of its camera to document the LITTLE THINGS in my life which I have been neglecting recently.

我没打算跟你说我有多喜欢它，它有多帮，因为现在我只用了4%的用途（没有push mail,没有网络，twitter很慢，很少其他用途）。 这就意味着我要用它的摄像来存档一些我生活中最近被忽略了的小事情。

Look here for example:

例如：

I dropped my pen behind a cupboard at work, and so I decided to investigate behind it. Voila! 30 more pens.

我上班的时候在 柜子后面掉了笔，然后我就决定找它。看！30多支笔！

I went to Ikea and saw this. Is it a joke? I know Swedish people are pretty funny – but…a corkscrew called ‘Groggy’?! It sounds like a Disney cartoon character!

我去宜家然后看到这个。这是玩笑吗？我知道瑞士人不怎么有趣—可是…把开瓶器称作‘Groggy’？！听上去就想迪士尼动画里的角色。

Booyaka! I did it on purpose (of course)…

我最喜欢的音乐!我故意的（当然）…

I will be sure to paste any more meaningful moments in my life right here in the blog!

以后我要把我生活中有意义的图片都贴到这里！

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I hate spam as much as anyone, but come on man…give me a break!

我比谁都痛恨垃圾邮件，可是……放过我吧！

Is that pi?!?!

这是派吗？！？！

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I absolutely love our local fake DVD shop. THere are two floors of movies, music dvds, cds and tv series. The people who work in there are always funny and relaxed and they’ll be honest with you if the quality of the disc is not exactly ‘100%’.

我真心喜欢我们这里的盗版DVD商店。2层楼都是电影，音乐，cd和电视剧。在那里的工作人员总是很有意思并且很放松，而且如果片子的质量不是100%的好，他们绝对会如实告诉你。

I went in last week and spent a bit of time in one of my favourite sections – Classic Movies.

上个星期我去哪里花了点时间选我最喜欢的一个部分的片子-经典电影。

I haven’t seen ‘Weather Man’, but I’m sure it’s a real classic (because everything Nicolas Cage touches turns to gold). Part drama, part action film…and part philosophy?

我没看过‘天气预报员’，但是我相信这是个经典的片子（因为Nicolas Cage能点石成金）。一点情节，一点动作的片子…还有一点哲学？

I couldn’t have said it butter myself, Nick.
我已经说得够清纯了, Nick.

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Some people moan about customer service in Shanghai, but I found one café near my workplace which actually thanks you if you take the piss out of them!

有些人常常抱怨上海的客服，可是我发现我工作的地方旁边的一个咖啡馆，他们会感谢你如果你拿他们开玩笑！

I wonder what they’d do if you didn’t pay?

我在想，如果你吃霸王餐他们会拿你怎么样？

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TESL stands for, amongst other things, Teaching English as a Second Language.
TESL表示教授母语非英语者英语.

Maybe there is some subliminal messaging in this sign?
也许这里面还有某些引申义？

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I usually try not to reprint things here (or take things from other places), but I absolutely love this picture which was taken from a Chinese exam paper (allegedly). If you like this sort of story, there are loads of funny videos and funny photos from China at Funny in China – 趣味中国!

通常我都不会转帖到这里（或者把别的地方的东西拿来用），但是我真的很喜欢这张中国考卷（真心的）。如果你也喜欢这样的小品，可以上Funny in China – 趣味中国!，那里有很多有趣的视频和图片！

It says:
Question
Write an article about love.

Requirements
1. Use brief and refined language
2. The story should end tragically
3. No word limit

Answer
Will you marry me?
“Fuck off!”

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