Oli's Shanghai Blog» haha http://www.djod.co.uk Oli's Shanghai blog - facebook emoticons, photos, chinese, tech, life, girls, jokes and food from Shanghai, China. Mon, 30 Jan 2012 10:37:43 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Big Brother is watching http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/11/16/big-brother-is-watching/ http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/11/16/big-brother-is-watching/#comments Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:13:20 +0000 Oli D http://www.djod.co.uk/?p=3710

I saw this on the wall in the self-service café on a Brittany Ferries boat.

Big Brother is watching

Skynet 2011. Scary stuff!

]]> http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/11/16/big-brother-is-watching/feed/ 1 Sunbathing Error – 错误的日光浴 http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/04/06/sunbathing-error-%e9%94%99%e8%af%af%e7%9a%84%e6%97%a5%e5%85%89%e6%b5%b4/ http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/04/06/sunbathing-error-%e9%94%99%e8%af%af%e7%9a%84%e6%97%a5%e5%85%89%e6%b5%b4/#comments Wed, 06 Apr 2011 09:07:24 +0000 Oli D http://www.djod.co.uk/?p=2850

It seemed like summer had come early earlier this week! The weather was wonderful, so I headed out to Jing’an Sculpture Park for a summer stroll!

这个星期上半周感觉像是夏天提前来了！天气非常好，所以我去了静安雕塑公园散步了。

Jing'an Sculpture Park

One of the great things about summer is sunbathing, and it wasn’t long until I’d found my first example of it…look at this little guy!

夏天最棒的事情之一就是晒日光浴，我没花多少时间就找到了第一个例子…看看这个小家伙！

Hot cat!

As I continued walking, I noticed a group of foreigners who had commandeered part of the grass in the park. “Bravo!” I thought.

然后我继续走，我看到几个老外躺在公园的草地上。“太棒了！” 我想。

WHITE BOYZ ON TOUR 2011!

As I got cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser, I suddenly lost my appetite for summer…

然后我走近了一些，突然我发现倒胃口的事情…

Butt cleavage on a man is a no-no.

Guys! You’re doing it wrong!

天哪！你不该这样！

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I love going to the gym. I go six days a week…not because I’m good at exercising (or because I try very hard), but because I feel like if I hang around with fit people long enough, by some magical sweat-based osmosis I might get fit too!

我喜欢去健身房。每周去六天…不是因为我特别擅长（或者因为我很努力），而是因为我觉得如果我多和健康的人在一起，或许会有一些魔法（或说是潜移默化），我可能也会变得健康！

It’s not working very well yet, but these things need time.

不过目前还不见成效，这些事情是需要时间的。

While I wait, I have noticed a couple of fantastic classes that the gym has introduced. I’m really looking forward to signing up…

我在等的时候，注意到了一些健身房推荐的不错课程。我真的十分期待…

Class schedule!
Here’s the schedule…

这是课程表…

Sign me up!

Anyone want to try with me?

有人想和我一起尝试一下吗？

]]> http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/03/22/putting-the-fun-in-gym-%e5%81%a5%e8%ba%ab%e7%9a%84%e4%b9%90%e8%b6%a3/feed/ 8 The Worst Job On Earth – 世界上最糟糕的工作 http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/02/16/the-worst-job-on-earth-%e4%b8%96%e7%95%8c%e4%b8%8a%e6%9c%80%e7%b3%9f%e7%b3%95%e7%9a%84%e5%b7%a5%e4%bd%9c/ http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/02/16/the-worst-job-on-earth-%e4%b8%96%e7%95%8c%e4%b8%8a%e6%9c%80%e7%b3%9f%e7%b3%95%e7%9a%84%e5%b7%a5%e4%bd%9c/#comments Wed, 16 Feb 2011 10:42:25 +0000 Oli D http://www.djod.co.uk/?p=2808

This shop is proof that being a real estate agent is the worst job on earth.

这个店证明了在房地产中介工作，是世界上最糟糕的工作。

This seems familiar...

Long hours, low pay, horrible customers…This company is so depressing, you can see by its name:

工作时间长，工资低，客户可怕…这个公司真杯具，从名字就能看出：

FML

*(FML=操蛋的生活)

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Tesco’s rapid expansion in China really impressed me. Not just because they invested huge amounts of money in building big, clean supermarkets, but also because of the little things.

乐购在中国的扩张速度让我感到吃惊。不仅仅是因为他们巨额投资建设这些又大，又干净的超市，还表现在一些小细节上。

Their translations were one of the things that you could always depend on. All of their ‘own brand’ products would be identical to what you’d see back in the UK, even down to the signs on the walls (‘Helping you spend less every day’ etc).

他们的翻译是其中之一。其自有品牌的产品全部是相同的，你会看到和英国的是一样的，甚至是墙上的标志也一样（’天天让您省更多’等）。

But that’s all changed. After a recent trip, I was traumatised to see that Tesco has been cutting corners – and it looks like their translator (or proofreader) was the first to get the chop.

可是，这一切都变了。经过一段时间，我伤心地发现乐购开始偷工减料了-看上去好像他们的翻译（或校对）是第一个被拿来开刀的。

Case #1: Sweatband (for the head) 防汗带（用于头）

Hairbad

This isn’t a Tesco branded product, but come on! How can you DISLOCATE your hair?!? I can only imagine that happening if you Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise your wig…

这不是乐购自有品牌的产品，可是，你怎么能让头发脱臼呢？！？这个我只能想象成是假发掉了…

Case #2: Dried Fruit 干果

Suck on my satly peach slices

I never expected to see such a horror show on a Tesco branded product. Despicable! But worse was to come…

我没想到乐购自有品牌的产品会上演如此可怕的闹剧。可恶！可是更糟糕的东西来了…

Case #3: The Bookshelf 书架

Aw gawd

In the reading section no less….
在阅读部分还有…

Comperhensive education?

What…on…earth…is…that…?
这…到…底…是…什么…？

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It's not green.

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Good news and bad news from Shanghai.

好消息也是坏消息。

Remember the campaign to stop people peeing on the floor in front of the toilets in public bathrooms? Well it hasn’t been going well. (Bathroom Tips)

还记得那个在公共厕所里提醒男人们不要尿在地上的标语吗？那个东西没什么用。 (厕所里的小贴士)

One company shared its experience of the problem, as well as how it managed to fix it once and for all!

一个公司分享了他们的经验，从此彻底解决了这个问题。

Good advice!

Basically it says: We used the 10 character sign (which said Please Aim Carefully), but there were still puddles of pee everywhere.

简单地说是这样的：之前我们用了个10字标语（向前一小步，文明一大步）提醒大家，但仍总有人尿在外面。

Then we changed it to an 8 character sign, and there was no more pee!

然后我们换了一条8字的标语，公司男员工们再也没有尿在外面了！

What did the new sign say?

新的标语是什么呢？

“Pissing on the floor means you’re short”.

“尿在外面，说明你短。”

]]> http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/01/26/bathroom-tips-followup-%e5%8e%95%e6%89%80%e9%87%8c%e7%9a%84%e5%b0%8f%e8%b4%b4%e5%a3%ab%ef%bc%88%e7%bb%ad%ef%bc%89/feed/ 4 Why you shouldn’t buy your parents a scanner for Christmas – 圣诞节千万别送扫描仪给你父母 http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/01/02/why-you-shouldnt-buy-your-parents-a-scanner-for-christmas-%e5%9c%a3%e8%af%9e%e8%8a%82%e5%8d%83%e4%b8%87%e5%88%ab%e9%80%81%e6%89%ab%e6%8f%8f%e4%bb%aa%e7%bb%99%e4%bd%a0%e7%88%b6%e6%af%8d/ http://www.djod.co.uk/2011/01/02/why-you-shouldnt-buy-your-parents-a-scanner-for-christmas-%e5%9c%a3%e8%af%9e%e8%8a%82%e5%8d%83%e4%b8%87%e5%88%ab%e9%80%81%e6%89%ab%e6%8f%8f%e4%bb%aa%e7%bb%99%e4%bd%a0%e7%88%b6%e6%af%8d/#comments Sun, 02 Jan 2011 07:27:55 +0000 Oli D http://www.djod.co.uk/?p=2679

Here’s a good example of why you shouldn’t buy your parents a scanner for Christmas. They’ll go straight to the old shoebox that is stuffed full of old photos of you…and even if they want to be cute and fun, it will never end well….

给你举个很好的例子，告诉你为什么圣诞节不能送扫描仪给你父母。因为他们会立马把装满你旧照片的鞋盒翻出来…及时他们想找一些可爱有趣的照片，最后往往都不会……

Basketball!

My reaction: Oh, cool! A photo of when I was young!

我的回应：噢，酷！我小时候的照片！

CLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise up…

特写…

Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciseup.jpg” alt=”Look at those legs!” title=”Look at those legs!” width=”500″ height=”700″ class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-2682″ />

And then…

然后…

Fishfinger eyebrows?

My reaction: Oh! Another photo of when I was young! Cool!

我的回应： 噢！又是我小时候的照片！酷！

Another cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise up…

然后还是特写…

Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciseup.jpg” alt=”Note: Pre-oil spill BP t-shirt!” title=”Note: Pre-oil spill BP t-shirt!” width=”500″ height=”477″ class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-2684″ />

And then…

接着…

Erm....6-pack?

My reaction: Errrmm….Please tell me that I have a twin sister who you sent to the orphanage…

我的回应：呃…… 我是不是有个双胞胎姐姐被送到孤儿院去了…

I don’t think we need a cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise up of that one. Next year they’re getting socks.

我觉得这张就不要特写了。明年，我会送给他们袜子。

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I just found out that my dear cousin Alice and her husband James are stuck in the freezing UK and can’t fly away to the sun (they have tickets for the next Ashes cricket test match in Australia)! When I heard that a lot of flights from the UK had been delayed I didn’t think at all that they would affect anyone I knew…the only thing I could think of was snow! Snow! SNOW!

我刚刚发现我亲爱的表妹Alice和她的丈夫James被困在了冰冷的英国，不能飞向阳光（他们已经拿到了下一届Ashes澳大利亚板球赛的门票）！当我听说很多英国航班延误的时候，我根本没想到会影响到我认识的人…我唯一能想到的是下雪！下雪！下雪！

It is the British way to wish for a white Christmas, and then complain when it happens. I would never wish for a cold Christmas, because I know what can happen…you wake up in your cold bed…you can see your own breath in the air…you put on your cold slippers…walk to your cold bathroom…

希望有一个白色圣诞是英国人的传统，然后真的发生的时候又开始抱怨。我可不希望有一个寒冷的圣诞节，因为我知道会发生什么…你在冰冷的床上醒来…看见自己呼吸冒出的热气…穿上冰冷的拖鞋…走进冰冷的浴室…

…give me sun every time!

…我要太阳！

]]> http://www.djod.co.uk/2010/12/20/icy-chill-2-%e5%86%b0%e5%a4%a9%e9%9b%aa%e5%9c%b0/feed/ 6 Bathroom Tips – 厕所里的小贴士 http://www.djod.co.uk/2010/12/06/bathroom-tips-%e5%8e%95%e6%89%80%e9%87%8c%e7%9a%84%e5%b0%8f%e8%b4%b4%e5%a3%ab/ http://www.djod.co.uk/2010/12/06/bathroom-tips-%e5%8e%95%e6%89%80%e9%87%8c%e7%9a%84%e5%b0%8f%e8%b4%b4%e5%a3%ab/#comments Mon, 06 Dec 2010 04:44:41 +0000 Oli D http://www.djod.co.uk/?p=2611

Sometimes the most obvious advice is the best.

有时候很明显的意见也是最好的意见

Too c<a href=Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise for missiles, switching to guns…” title=”Too cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise for missiles, switching to guns…” width=”500″ height=”375″ class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-2613″ />

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