Step 1
Arrive at your departure station approximately 15 minutes before your scheduled departure time. To find out your departure station, ask yourself Where am I now?.Step 2
Buy your ticket from ticket office or ticket machine. If you have purchased your tickets online, pick them up from a FastTicket ™ or similar machine (these will be positioned in or near the ticket office).

Step 3
Look at the Departures board and locate your journey information. The Departures board will tell you which platform your train will be leaving from, as well as other information about the trip (ie, where the buffet car is situated, how many minutes late or early the service is running).

Step 4
Follow the instructions on the departures board which relate to your journey. These will usually be either “Board your train” or “Wait”.

Step 5
Board your train, find your reserved seat (Coach letter and seat number should be printed on your ticket), purchase a large Gin and Tonic from the appropriate staff member and relax - you’ve made it!

Author’s note I decided to write these guidelines for people who have problems catching trains. These people are often ignored by or segregated from society - and their cause is one which must not be swept under the carpet. We can not turn our faces away from this problem, because if nobody sticks up for society’s chumps…who will stick up for us when *we* are society’s chumps?

Yeah Ubonge.com and me got pretty drunk last night, playing GTA Vice City on PS2…I regret it now though because I feel like shit. Tal and Zahra want to go to the cinema tonight to watch Importance of being Earnest or something…don’t know if I can be bothered. I really need to get in the zone for work at some point or I’m going to sleep through the next term (not a good plan I reckon).

B2K feat.P Diddy - Bump Bump Bump just makes me think of asses. Verdict good.
Ginuwine feat. Baby - Hell Yeah just makes me think of last year in France. Verdict good.
J.Lo feat. LL Cool J - All I Have just makes me laugh coz LL is finally getting dissed by a chick. Verdict good (song bad).

I’ve gone from MOB to 50 Cent today…interesting…so today I had a haircut and it’s quite short. It was meant to be my ‘term 1 haircut’ as I seem to have about 1 per term, but I might have been a bit premature (EvilOli: Not for the first time! (Oli:SORRY?))…we’ll see.

I talked on the phone to my cousin Lizzie last night (she called at like 1am, totally pissed at a party) which was so cool…another NYR is to keep up the contact with the family (as Mystic Meg says, after finding true love - family connections are next). Respect.

Campus was alive last night to the sounds of Counterstrike playing…that game is kick ass when you’re playing with a lot of friends.

Songs to listen to:
50 Cent - Doing My Thing
Fabolous - Damn
50 Cent - Back Down

Clone cult firm raided in S Korea - I knew it!
Federally funded study measures porn arousal - God bless America

the evil genius says:
yea, tryin to bring ur ass to the table y’all whats yo name ? x to the z xzibit, back with his friends, dr dre, what, oh no..wer gonna do a song that yiou never heard before.. hell..hellhell yea yo green lantern fucking it up once again, im mr x to the z xzibit ang ang anger management tour twothousandTWO, its brand new xzibit featuriung snoop dogg and dr dre, dont forget that anger management tour coming to a stadium near u

Soopalfy on the Dogghouse Documentary, singing Usher:

‘You remind me of a girl / That I once knew / But when I see the top of your head / I know it’s you”