Haibao Kidnapped! – 海宝被绑架！

I went to Paris a couple of weeks ago, and found out some very troubling news about Shanghai’s Expo mascot – Haibao.

几个星期前我去了次巴黎， 发现了一些令人烦恼的新闻是关于上海世博会吉祥物—海宝的。

He has been kidnapped!

他被绑架了！

I managed to take a photo of the victim, who was in a shop in the Eurostar terminal…being forced to wear disgusting French clothes!

我拍下了受害者在Eurostar terminal店里的照片……他被迫穿上了难看的法国衣服！

…but what I can’t understand is…why doesn’t he look unhappy?!

…可是我不明白的是……为什么他看起来很开心？！

Who wants a facial? – 谁想要面膜？

None of us is getting any younger, but I’m not sure that I’m ready to rub this into my face yet…

没有人能越来越年轻，可是我不确定我是否准备好了把这个抹到我的脸上去……

Does your back hurt? – 你的背疼吗?

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I think that might be a little late…

我觉得有一点晚…

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A very serious issue – 一个非常严重的问题

Chinese cultural society has evolved very quickly over the past twenty years, and people are now being forced to deal with issues that perhaps 20 years ago were not issues.

在过去的20年里，中国文化社会发展得非常迅速，然而人们也在被迫要面对一些20年前没有的问题。

People are much more liberal than they were in times before, and it shows – on the street, in cafés, in bars…but this also means that there are new problems which have developed, and one of the largest ones is the media portrayal of the female, and how some women – especially young women – are treated like meat.

人们比以前更自由了，这个表现在 – 街上，咖啡馆，酒吧里…但是这也意味着有新的问题产生，其中最大的一个是媒体对女性的写照，以及如何对待女性 – 尤其是年轻妇女 – 男人对她们只有肉欲。

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However important that sensitive topic is, something that is much more important that we need to deal with RIGHT NOW is ACTUAL MEAT – so for God’s sake people…get a ROOM! I don’t want to see my pig’s trotter on the street before I stuff it in my mouth!

不管这个敏感的话题有多么的重要，然而现在我们急需处理的更为重要的是这些真正的肉 – 看在上帝的份上…给它们一个房间吧！我不想在街上看到的这些猪蹄，最后进到我的嘴里去！

I’m going vegetarian for the next 20 minutes.

之后的20分钟我要做一个素食者。

Is it me?

I know it’s a slow news-time for headline writers at the moment, but you don’t need to resort to this…

Let’s get a little bit cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser….(not too cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercise though)

Someone’s gonna get it for this one!

Celebrity Lookalike – 相像的名人

I’ve seen a few lookalikes in my time in China, but this one has to be the cLose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exercisest to ‘separated at birth’ I’ve seen so far:

在中国我见过很多长得很相像的人了，可是这个是我至今看到得最像的非双胞胎：

Can you guess?

你能分辨出来吗？

Could this be the Colonel’s long lost brother – the General?!

这会不会是上校失散多年的兄弟——将军？！

England v Germany Goal UPDATE

Footage from Uruguyuan TV shows another amazing shock after the England vs Germany match!

哭死我了！

Save Coal-miner Zheng Da Shi! – 拯救矿工郑大世!

After losing 7-0 against Portugal, it seems that the crying footballers of North Korea may be going directly to the coal mines…The guys from KDS forum have started a campaign to stop this from happening!

与葡萄牙打成7比0以后，看来可怜的朝鲜队真的要去挖煤了…KDS论坛上的人们已经发起了拯救他们的战役了！

Save Coal-miner Zheng Da Shi!

拯救矿工郑大世！

Shanghai Fatness Club – 上海健身房

While walking around an apartment compound near Hongqiao golf club, I stumbled across this brilliantly titled gym.

当我走在虹桥高尔夫俱乐附近的一个小区附近的时候，偶然发现一个名字发光的健身房。

You may be able to do a little Lose Weight Exercise there…but surely your mind would always be on the Sunday Lunch (Yorkshire pudding, mashed potato, roast potato….ROAST BEEF) which was waiting for you afterwards….

你可能可以在那里做一些锻炼…但你一定会总是挂念着周日的午餐（约克郡布丁，土豆泥，烤土豆…烤牛肉）正在锻炼后等着你…

BEEEF CAKKKKEEE!

牛肉饼！