Yuck Yuck

So woka woka im in the middle of my finals now so I thought i’d update for the first time in months hehehehehehe nothign much to say apart from exams are hard and make u feel sick….but not as much as girls do :D:D:D:D

If you wanna get down baby…

What a very strange few days (believe me)…never before have girls been more fascinating to me…the things they do and say…and then when you think you know what’s going on…they fall asleep.

Oooooooo

Wednesday is the big night at the club Systeme…it’s shaping up to be really cool…I can’t wait.
I
am really tired at the moment, have been doing quite a lot of stuff
(not interesting stuff, just stuff). My ex-girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend
(you do the maths) is visiting (her) at the moment which is pretty cool
coz he’s a dude and I haven’t seen him for ages – I suppose Grenoble is
as nice a place as any to come on your leave from the army….just the
thought makes me want to puke….

I did an impromptu work session at the bar tonight and I just realised 10 seconds ago that I wasn’t paid. Shit.

Slept at Mariatzel’s place last night. Which was nice…

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Oh shit, it was yesterday wasn’t it?! I must have missed it…he he he…
No honestly I had a great time this Feb 14th…It all began on Wednesday…

~#~#~#~#~#~#~

So I hadn’t seen the Mexicans for 24hrs and I was wondering what was
up…I called Keila (who now seems to have turned into a crazy
cat…..more later) and she said that she and Mariatzel would meet me
around 6pm. We hooked up and went to the Boite a Sardines for a coffee.
Now I thought that both of them were going to eat some Fondue with
their classes, but in fact Mariatzel was free – which meant good news
for me…
We went to G�ant to buy some food…imagine this shopping list:
Beer
Wine
Chocolate
Sweets
Lime Doritos
Cheese
Bread
Chupa Chups
Ice Cream x 2
Yoghurt
Caramel Sauce

…and took it all back to my place. The time was like 9pm now…20
hours later (5pm Valentine’s Day) we were in the same place…very full
and (at least I was) very happy. Sweet.

Then unfortunately(sp?) I had to work at the bar so no romance in the
evening, but it was ok…the start of the night was more dead than
breeze (tm Joss), but it picked up a little towards the end…I think
it was just the mixture of holidays with romance which was keeping
everyone locked up in their homes…

Tonight (Friday) sounds like it’s shaping up to be cool…It’s a girl
from Wimbeldon’s birthday (I think Joss really fancies her) and I’m
going to her party (which just happens to be in the same block as
Mariatzel’s place…sweet. We’ll see how it goes…

#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#

In other news…I bough some small speakers for my laptop so I can play
cds without the internal ones crackling like bastards…they seem to be
pretty cool (they do their job). I would advise anyone who wants to buy
audio speakers (and don’t want to pay upwards of �50) to always look
around computer shops instead of looking in HMV or whatever because the
quality is 10x better and the price is 10x better too (which makes them
100x better…you dig?)

Respect is due to: Paul, Flintoff (da Daddy), Mairead (great name) and
to Blackstreet for getting so many couples through Valentine’s Day
(relatively) unscathed…

Oooops

It looks like I just got myself a girlfriend.

It all started last Thursday……

*^*�*$*%*^*&*”*$)”*$&”"&$*@?/?@’@@�%^(*&(&*
So
Thursday night in Notre Dame…Joss and I are working….It’s a
banger…Suddenly the Mexican (from here known as Mariatzel) walks into
the bar and comes over…She’s lost the others and thinks she’ll wait
for them here. ‘Sweet’ I think, as I can chat with her for a while…

So we get to chatting…but then disaster #1…A French friend of mine,
Phillipe(sp?) comes over to us and joins in the convo. Normally that’d
be cool as far as I was concerned but I really wanted to put in some
quality groundwork and I knew that if he started chatting with her he
wouldn’t give up all night (he’s a persistent bugger). Unofrtunately I
was right and he did chat with her for the next 2 hours while i watched
on in horror…

Then disaster #2 – The other Mexican girl, Keila, comes in with a
Swedish friend and she is off her face. Totally battered. I could see
it a mile off…but as soon as she came over things went from bad to
worse…I offer the old ‘bisous’ and BAM…she tries to get some tongue
action….I was mortified because not only would I have to turn down
the advances of Keila, but it was going to ruin my future with
Mariatzel…Wank.

The night was really crap from then on…I was moping around the bar,
Keila got more and more drunk and started losing things and causing
trouble (not real trouble but just drunk girl trouble) and finally they
all left to go to Vieux Manoir (the 5am bar). I didn’t know whether to
bother, but I thought that I might as well because Joss and George the
Whining Irish were both quite up for it…ho ho ho…

When we arrived at VM the scene was almost identical to ND…same
people, all drunk, Keila nearly crying (she’d ‘lost’ her keys, money,
coat etc) Mariatzel looking like she ws getting annoyed…..yuck….I
tried to have a good time but eventually we realised that Keila was too
drunk to do anything so we decided to take her back to George’s…30
minutes later we were all in ‘bed’….George, Keila, Joss and Rachel in
the double bed, Mariatzel and me on the floor…Then I stopped cursing
my bad luck and realised that the bad karma of the night was all
leading to the best night i’d had in Grenoble…

The next day, Friday, we (George, Keila, Mariatzel, me) went to
watch Ocean’s Eleven at the Club cinema…it was really good I thought,
maybe a little tiny bit bland due to the huge number of personalities
but still it was (George: ‘A good veg’). After we had a drink and went
home…

Saturday I worked with new bar recruit Fre (Holland), it was a psycho
night, Shiv, Rob and Alex were all back in the social frame of mind and
my god can those bastards drink…we all then went to the Vieux Manoir
again but only for about 20 minutes so Joss could see Amelie, then it
was home…

Sunday it was the NBA All Star Game!!! I watched it with Keila and
Mariatzel in Berlioz…then we all slept in her room (Keila’s)…very
nice evening…In the day we also watched the African Nations Cup final
and PSG v Marseille…Cool…

Yesterday was Mariatzel’s birthday (great timing doofus) but she seemed
pretty downbeat about it…Keila’s spousal problems didn’t help…in
the end I went with M to a bar called ‘No Name’ (she’d arranged like 2
weeks ago to meet a 28yr old Mexican guy there)…suffice to say that
as soon as he saw me his faced changed from ‘Full of Love’ to ‘Who the
fuck is this english prick?’. I didn’t really mind, I just read the
paper and watched the old timers dance the tango (it was quite romantic
actually)…When we went back to Berlioz it was too late to catch a bus
or tram so we had to find someone’s floor to sleep on – In fact we went
one better, as Dara was not only awake but was planning to sleep on the
floor himslef, thus having a free bed – we didn’t object…To top the
night off we had a big smoke on his Sheesha pipe before sleep – great
strawberry tobacco – mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

Well

So Joss and I lined up these two gorgeous Mexican girls
to come to the bar tonight – great….they didn’t show. But we had a
backup plan – these two gorgeous American girls – great….they didn’t
show. So…we had no other backups.

But it was a cool night, had a lot of fun, time is passing really
quickly at the moment…Gayle is going away soon. I’ll miss her.

What a difference

…a day makes. 24 little hours…

Please.
I think today was quite a pivotal day. For one, it was a great
day…what did I do? First of all, I woke at 2pm after a good long
sleep, although I felt a bit hung over (I don’t know why either coz I
didn’t go out yesterday much, maybe it is a cold I’m getting ANYWAY…)
and I went into town (after paying my rent – they sent me a letter
today saying that if I didn’t pay it today I would be evicted – the
joke is that there was no reason why I didn’t pay other than that I
forgot. Doh!) to have a coffee…but Joss was nowhere to be seen!
The
problem was that he had an exam – I didn’t, and I was left to fend for
myself. Luckily I bumped into Ruaidhri (or Ruadihri, I can’t remember -
It’s pronounced RORY anyway…) and we had a coffee, I watched as his
friends had a spliff (in the dodgiest of car parks in the whole of
France) and then went to the Boite a Sardines for another drink
(nice…). Joss arrived and more beverages followed, which leas to the
promise of an evening meal at J’s before going out. We bought some
great steak (mmmmmmmmmmmmmm) and potatoes (for J’s speciality (s)mashed
spuds) and went to his place.
Then it happened.
Into J’s hall
walked a tall, tanned, beautiful girl. Her name is Kale (I think,
pronounced Kay-la) and she’s Mexican. And she’s gorgeous. We started
chatting, we invited her into the kitchen for a chat, she relaxed a
bit, we played cards, drank…..did I mention she’s gorgeous?
Anyway….she’s coming out with us tomorrow night so we will see….

Then we went to Notre Dame for a quick drink, only to find the
beautiful Dutch girl Lotte ready for a chat, and a new group of
Americans who seemingly needed to be chatted up (I am such a
Lose Weight Exercise/”>Lose Weight Exerciser)…anyway THEY’re coming in tomorrow as well (it’s really shaping
up to be a BaNgEr!!!).

I can’t wait!

ps, I have an exam tomorrow. Shit.

pps, Tony the Playboy is going to buy a house. Amazing. He’s younger than me! Playboy Mansion baby….

Good Morning

It’s 2.30pm and I just woke up. Oh my god what a
crazy night last night was. First of all I went to Elisa the psycho
Mexican’s house for a party…there weren’t many people there
(unfortunately it was the whole crowd who I had kissed and had now
banded together in an unholy alliance against me) but it was ok fun
(until one of the girls, a real nutbar, decided to start crying because
she wanted to kiss me (which I didn’t want to do or I would have)).
ANYWAY
so after this incident I made a pretty sharp exit and went to Notre
Dame for a bit – it was nice and busy and I jumped behind the counter
and put a few songs on (someone had to save Meghan – she was just
overwhelmed by the complexity of music and drinks in parallel (only
kidding M!!!)) before chatting with a smashing Swedish girl for about
half an hour (who’s actually Dutch) and dancing with the crew (Z, E and
T).

WELL usually the night would end there but NO!!! because the Empress
Shiv was there….She looked at me and Joss with her eyes of swirling
complexity and spoke unto us, instructing us to go swiftly to that den
of despicability known as Vieux Manoir…The nightclub from Hell…..

So we set off to the club, but first George the whining, bar pissing
Irish says that we should go back to his for a few drinks before hand.
Joss had to tidy up Notre Dame so he came 20 minutes later and by the
time he arrived, George was asleep on the bed…..he then picked
himself up, went into the bathroom and threw his guts up, and fell
asleep with his face in the cold, white porcelain (of the sink, don’t
worry!)….

We left him there (not in the sink, we put him to bed) and proceeded to
the club of death…Queen Shiv was quickly found at the bar with her
aides, Rob + Alex, and much drink festivity was had…and as soon as
the sounds of Mary J Blige were heard weraced to the stage to shake
some tail – oh shit I just realised that I forgot a big thing….

*Appendix* – before seeing Mistress Shiv, I had the misfortune to come
across the crazy chick from the party who was crying (again) in the
club (but this time she was mixing it up with a bit of throwing up as
well which is pretty novel)…anyway I think that her mates were taking
stress tablets or some shit because one of them started to have a go at
me…’Make her better!’ ‘You know how to cheer her up!’ ‘How old are
you?!’. If I had have known how to sober her up and make her full of
the joys of spring, believe me, I would have just to get her to piss
off – and then I would have finished with another phrase which would
have made this guy turn into a fucking big can of petrol which I would
have tipped over her and set on fire (only joking kids – don’t play
with matches)…Well obviously I could do little to save her so she was
carried home…in the meantime we went back into the club and danced
for ages….Joss (who was ace earlier in the night dealing with the
faux-agression scenario) was on fire…Shiv was on fire…Alex
was….oh Alex….

You see the problem was (and always is) with this club that there were
roughly 2 girls there (ok a couple more than that but you get the
impression) and Alex started dancing with this real hotty (a shock to
all of us due to the fact that there was already one bona fide hotty on
the stage)…it all looked good until her boyfriend showed up and
dragged her off the dancefloor (by her hair) into the cloakroom. Doh!
Alex then showed why he won the ‘Nice Guy of the Year 1997′ award
because he persued the couple to the bar and demanded that the prick
boyfriend apologise. Naturally this dickhead wasn’t going to, but Alex
stood his ground and eventually (when surrounded by about 20 blokes)
the twat boyfriend left (after vowing to ‘break Alex’s heart’ (an
interesting proposition)).

Shortly after this carnival Joss and I walked home (in the bitter cold)
which took 45 minutes for me…Ouch! I still have George’s front door
key (he he he)…I wonder what carnage I can cause with this little
beauty…