All’s Well

That ends well, and at least the fucking night is
over. Nightmare at work, well not really but Nanou wasn’t very happy
because there were basically only these fucking arsehole spaniards who
didnt drink and just stank the place up…oh well. Two days ago I went
to a brilliant restaurant with Mariatzell, I’ve had my beard chopped
off along with my hair, some fuckbag found the phone that i’d dropped
in a shop, entered the pin AND PUK code 10 times and now the card is
fucked, and well…I am tired. Nanou said this tonight, and I think he
has a good point:

“If you give importance to a monkey, he thinks he’s a gorilla”

Also I just realised that if evolution is true then it seems to me that
thinking about shit was the last thing to evolve (dogs just fuck all
day long and don’t care). Interesting….

Clues

How
about this for a mega karma story…So this bullshit strike is on
across Italy today…My usual attitude towards all protests are that
they’re great unless the mess me around and then they are stupid…Well
when I left the computer this morning I went to get some food and I was
hit by a wall of people…

…’What a great protest’, thought I, ‘They are not affecting my life one little bit!’

So I went off in search of a sandwich…And every time I turned down a
street it was FULL of people all walking towards me…The stock of the
protest was falling, rapidly. I just didn’t understand it, because this
was an Italy-wide protest about (as I understand it) the opposition to
a new law about employers
being
able to fire employees easier. Good idea – So what the fuck has Che
Guevara got to do with it? Every one of the stinking gyppo protestors
was wearing his stupid, smiling face as they sung their way around town
(and between me and my sandwich)…

Anyway finally I got to the sandwich place and by now I was cussing
these guys out…most were about 14, which begged the question ‘Did
they actually know what they were protesting against?’…Anyway I got
the food and made my way back to the computer when I remembered that I
had to walk all the way over the other side of town (20 mins at least)
to buy my train ticket for Thursday…I didn’t want to risk not getting
one…

…So I head over, dodging these friggin’ Poll Tax Protestor(sp?)
rejects and finally I got to the station. I was too hot, tired of
protestors and bored. And here’s the punchline: The ticket office
people were on strike!!! That made me smile…Watch out for karma, it’s
a bitch.

Finally

That ho is just finishing off her call. She must be
loaded…Maybe I should hook up with her…Another pearl of wisdom:
“They say watching tv is one of the best ways [of learning
italian]“….”When someone talks fast, we can tell”….

Oooops

Well it was inevitable…after finishing the two books
i went back to the bookshop and, well, might have gone OTT…I bought
the Lord Of The Rings, all 3 volumes in one book. Well it’s an excuse
to not go out with the German guy hahahahahaha (i am so sad).

On the subject of sad I had a big rant planned about this bitch in a
coffee shop charging me so much for a cappuccino but i have forgotten
about it so i wont…

…Sad #3: Life for the *mixed asians* who do the stupid painting of
names on the streets here in Florence must be horrible, as well as the
ones who make the stupid fucking grasshoppers, as well as the black
guys who sell the fake bags and watches. I think i’m bored having
nothing to do, but they must be near suicidal….

Quote of the Day (sic)

“So like it was like 300 whatever to the dollar, but Vienna’s in the EU so like they used the Euro.”

That bitch is still on the phone.

Oh Baby

Well
I finished the book I bought yesterday (The Brethren) (WHAT DO YOU MEAN
I’M BORED?!?!), that’s over 1000 pages in 2 days. And i’ve been
sleeping so well…but i’m just about ready to get away from America
(err i mean Florence)…
It is quite depressing just hearing
Americans talk to their fucking parents all day on their
mobiles….like I am now (listening, not talking)…It is a bit weird
how some people just don’t seem to give a fuck about where they are,
they just talk loud about their personal lives. SHUT THE FUCK UP
GIRL!!!! I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU SIGNING UP FOR YOUR CLASSES! OR
YOUR STUPID BITCH PROBABLY-UGLY FRIEND’S NEW COMPUTER! I honestly
didn’t think that people really had the kind of Baywatch voice until I
came here. It is quite scary. Oh my god i don’t believe it, at least 6
more idiots just walked in. I’m so glad my computer is in the corner
and next to it the computer is broken!!! SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR DAD’S
THUMB! I DON’T CARE!

Sorry. The German guy is trying to further our friendship. It’s not
working working. He suggested we take a ride in his car to view the
city. I suggested no. Oh yeah last night we were ‘chatting’ and he said
‘I don’t mind if we takl in english because it is so frustrating
talking in italian all of the time’. I said ‘whatever’ and we started
talking in english. I nearly pissed myself…He is good, don’t get me
wrong, but every time he forgot a word (like Christmas) he cussed
himself out SO BADLY!!! If he was Japanese I think he would have fallen
on his sword right there and then…”CHRISTMAS! Of course! Stupid
Tom!”. I am a shitbag.

3rd World

Ok well i’m in my second branch of the ‘Internet
Train’ cybercafe franchise now and well it’s like flying from Tokyo to
Paxos….from flat screen tft sexyass computers to one where i need a
hammer to make the buttons work…i also realise how much the
rollerball middle button is used and not recognized. Humph.

Oh anyway just bought ‘The Brethren’ by John Grisham, which is actually
the book I wanted to buy yesterday but i picked the wrong one up by
mistake and i didnt realise until i was about 100 pages in….oops…

No steroid side effects yet (but i am RIPPED TO FUCK!!!!!!). No more gym for me, i’ll just get viralised!!!

Oh yeah funny story #1 (I shouldn’t laugh but…): The German guy who
lives in my house (not the alcoholic freak painter from hell on wheels)
had his car impounded yesterday for parking in the wrong place. I think
my blatant unfounded prejudice against him is harsh, but he was
standing there, soaking wet, telling me his problem and when he
finished I said…’Do you want some coffee?’…I am a BASTARD!!! I LOVE
IT!!!!

Smoking

It is now my official opinion (probably until
tomorrow) that smoking is not addictive, however it forms a habit in
people which seems to them totally unbreakable. It’s not a need, but a
desire that has been created by the enjoyment of the product. With this
groundbreaking news I give you….

Cigarette Linxxx
—————
British American Tobacco
- Lucky Strike, Kent, Dunhill, Pall Mall, Rothmans, Kool, Benson &
Hedges, State Express 555, Peter Stuyvesant, Viceroy, John Player Gold
Leaf
Philip Morris
- Marlboro, L & M , Philip Morris, Lark, Bond Street, Parliament,
Chesterfield, Diana, Apollo Soyuz, Merit, Petra, SG, Caro, Virginia
Slims, Klubowe, Multifilter, Polyot, f 6, Longbeach, Peter Jackson,
Dallas, Muratti, Kazakstan, Benson & Hedges, Sparta, Next,
Congress, Red & White, Le Mans, Helikon, Nacional, Belmont, Medeo,
Astor, Rubios, Galaxy, Astra, Kosmos, Derby, Alpine, Lider, Raffles,
Prima, Klaipeda, Portugu�s Suave, Eve, Brunette, Carmen, Palace,
Imparciales, Luxor, Kaunas, Kastitys, Particulares, Fiesta, Diplomat,
Partner, Colorado, Talisman, Kosmosas, Juwel, Zefir, Karo, Full Speed,
Mercedes, Visa, Ritz, Saratoga, Premier, Good Companion, Bond, Wilton,
Basic, Freeport
RJ Reynolds Tobacco – Winston, Camel, Salem, Doral
Imperial Tobacco
- Lambert & Butler, Embassy, Richmond, Superkings John Player’s
Special, Regal, Fusion, The Imperial, Escort, Horizon, Bastos,
Excellence, Drum, Golden Virginia
Alternative Cigarettes – “No additives in our tobacco
does NOT mean a safer cigarette.” Ok…

Ingredients Allowed in Cigarettes by UK law
- Darling, pass the 1-Methoxy-4-propenylbenzene
para-(1-Propenyl)-anisole will you, I don’t think my cigarette has
enough in it…Sorry, I meant the 1,1-Dimethyl-2-phenylethyl
isobutyrate2….

Smoke Express – Cigarettes from �2 a pack, 89 brands available
Since we’re being semi-legal, let’s also buy:
Assault rifles, Paintball Guns (Pussy), Pussies for Sale, MONKEYS, human hair, skeletons, beef or glowsticks.