Hazing in the Chinese police – 作孽的中国警察

Although I have not been able to get any official comment from the Chinese police, after looking at this photographic evidence collected after a seconds-long investigation, there can be no doubt that new recruits in the Chinese police force are humiliated and hazed, to break down their spirit before training.

虽然我没能找到任何官方对中国警察的评价，可是在看过这张照片的下一秒钟，便可知道中国警察新兵部队的新兵在他们培训崩溃前，所受的羞辱和欺负了。

How else could you explain being forced to ride this bike around town?

不然你还能怎么解释，被迫在街上骑这样的自行车？

The golden rule of life: If a bicycle has a foot-stand, you can not catch criminals with it.

生存的黄金法则：如果一辆自行车有撑脚架，你一定没法靠它抓到罪犯。

Can you guess what I saw last night? – 猜猜昨天我看到了什么？

Look at this picture.

看下面这个图。

I was coming home from work last night when I suddenly opened the window and stuck my phone out and snapped a picture. Can you guess what had caught my eye? What was it that was so important that I braved the freezing night air to capture?

昨晚在我回家路上，当我突然开窗，突然拿出手机，突然拍下了一张照片的时候。你才我看到了什么? 是什么那么重要，以至于在那么冷的天气，尤其是晚上，我要开窗拍照？

Have another look!

再看一下！

When you’re ready to know the answer, have a look at the Photoshop enhanced version (below)!

如果你准备好揭开谜底了，那么看以下 PS以后加强版效果（下面）！

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Now THAT is a personalised number plate :)

现在这成了一个个性化的车牌了 :)

Happy New Year! – 新年快乐！

It’s a New Year (and a new decade) and I hope to be able to blog much more this year! Yeah! I know you’re excited too! Ok screw you…

新的一年啦（也是一个新的10年）！我希望今年我可以blog更多！耶！我知道你一定也很兴奋！呃…去你的吧…

Anyway, here’s an amazing video that I found over on Funny In China (although I’m pretty sure it’s not Chinese) – a video made by a special effects company, highlighting its work. I can’t stop watching it!

不管怎样，我这里有个很棒的视频，是我在Funny In China上发现的（虽然我确定那个不是在中国）-一个特效公司做的视频宣传他们的杰作。我喜欢死了！

For more funny pictures and videos from Chinese social networks, take a look at http://funnyinchina.com! It’s the future!

更多有趣的图片和视频来自中国互动社区网站上的，请看 http://funnyinchina.com! 他是我们的将来！

Blackberry 8900 Shanghai (黑莓8900在上海)

So I made a snap decision and bought a Blackberry. It wasn’t the stereotypical snap decision (because it took me three weeks from the time it was made to receiving the goods) but all the same, it was a good choice.

我做了仓促的决定去买了黑莓。其实也不能说是个仓促的决定（因为花了我3个星期等我的货到），不过不管怎样，还不错。

I’m not going to tell you how much I love it or how amazing it is, because right now I’m using about 4% of its capacity (no push mail, no internet*, twitter slow, barely any apps). That said, I am taking advantage of its camera to document the LITTLE THINGS in my life which I have been neglecting recently.

我没打算跟你说我有多喜欢它，它有多帮，因为现在我只用了4%的用途（没有push mail,没有网络，twitter很慢，很少其他用途）。 这就意味着我要用它的摄像来存档一些我生活中最近被忽略了的小事情。

Look here for example:

例如：

I dropped my pen behind a cupboard at work, and so I decided to investigate behind it. Voila! 30 more pens.

我上班的时候在 柜子后面掉了笔，然后我就决定找它。看！30多支笔！

I went to Ikea and saw this. Is it a joke? I know Swedish people are pretty funny – but…a corkscrew called ‘Groggy’?! It sounds like a Disney cartoon character!

我去宜家然后看到这个。这是玩笑吗？我知道瑞士人不怎么有趣—可是…把开瓶器称作‘Groggy’？！听上去就想迪士尼动画里的角色。

Booyaka! I did it on purpose (of course)…

我最喜欢的音乐!我故意的（当然）…

I will be sure to paste any more meaningful moments in my life right here in the blog!

以后我要把我生活中有意义的图片都贴到这里！

Fake DVD shop life lesson #1 (盗版DVD商店教训之一)

I absolutely love our local fake DVD shop. THere are two floors of movies, music dvds, cds and tv series. The people who work in there are always funny and relaxed and they’ll be honest with you if the quality of the disc is not exactly ’100%’.

我真心喜欢我们这里的盗版DVD商店。2层楼都是电影，音乐，cd和电视剧。在那里的工作人员总是很有意思并且很放松，而且如果片子的质量不是100%的好，他们绝对会如实告诉你。

I went in last week and spent a bit of time in one of my favourite sections – Classic Movies.

上个星期我去哪里花了点时间选我最喜欢的一个部分的片子-经典电影。

I haven’t seen ‘Weather Man’, but I’m sure it’s a real classic (because everything Nicolas Cage touches turns to gold). Part drama, part action film…and part philosophy?

我没看过‘天气预报员’，但是我相信这是个经典的片子（因为Nicolas Cage能点石成金）。一点情节，一点动作的片子…还有一点哲学？

I couldn’t have said it butter myself, Nick.
我已经说得够清纯了, Nick.

Blogstar.TV – Episode 2 – Party for the Party (博客之星-第2集-盛会的聚会)

I’m happy to announce that we’ve just released Episode 2 of Blogstar.TV – the web series / TV show / documentary / rockumentary that has been taking Shanghai, China and the World by storm.

非常高兴地在此隆重宣布,博客之星第2集新鲜出炉了-这部席卷全球,中国,上海的网络系列片/电视真人秀/记录片

If you like it, please do me a favour and share with your friends on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Kaixin001, RenRen, QQ or anywhere you can think of! I really appreciate it!

Don’t forget to leave a comment here on the official site too -> Blogstar.TV Episode 2 Party for the Party !

如果你喜欢,请帮我在Facebook,Myspace,Twitter,Kaixin001,Renren,QQ或者任何你想得到的地方和你的朋友分享这个视频!别忘记留下你的评论在我们的官方网站-> 博客之星-第2集-盛会的聚会!

Burger King 1 – 0 Oli (汉堡王 1-0 Oli)

I like to think of myself as an expert on Fast Food. A connoisseur, if you will. My love for cheap, delicious, (generally) “beef” based nutrition can be traced back to my youth – growing up in a remote rural time-warp with no shops (never mind a burger bar) meant that they always held some kind of magical charm for me.

我自觉可以称得上是个快餐专家了。你也可以说我是个行家。我对既便宜，又好吃（通常来说）还蕴涵基础营养的‘牛肉’的喜爱可以追溯到我的年轻时代–生长在偏远农村的时代—周围没有商店（更别说汉堡吧了）意味着这些快餐对于我来说有着某种神奇的魅力。

I pride myself on my knowledge of the industry, indeed if you search for Mcdonald’s Shanghai you should find my ‘self-help’ guide on ordering delivery here in the biggest city in China. However, all good things must come to an end, and a couple of days ago I met my match.

我对自己在这个领域的知识相当自豪，如果你搜索上海麦当劳，你应该可以找到我的关于在中国最大的城市的外卖‘自助’服务指南。不过，所有好的东西一定都有结束的一天，就在几天前我遇到了一次挑战。

The Burger King 4-stack.

汉堡王4层汉堡。

Theoretically, it was my dream burger. Bread, four burgers, two bacon, mayo and a little ketchup. No huge chunks of onion to distract you, no disgusting tomato…just flame grilled beef and a smile. What could go wrong?

理论上讲，这是我梦寐以求的汉堡。面包，4层汉堡，2块培根，蛋黄酱和一点番茄酱。没有很多洋葱，也没有讨厌的番茄…只有烤牛肉和一个微笑。那会有什么问题？

I began eating, and it was heavenly. I would often take bites from the top instead of the side (due to the brick-like nature of the burgers) – it was an experience to behold…who could have designed such a marvel? But just like in Independence Day, the beautiful strange suddenly turned on me…

我开吃了，这个神圣的汉堡。通常我吃汉堡都是从上面开始的，而不是旁边（原理和砖一样）-多是个叹为观止的经历…是谁竟然设计出这样的奇迹？可是就像独立日一样，美丽的变化突然发生在我的身上…

I ate it, all but one bite. I felt fuller than usual after eating fast-food (I usually eat very quickly, so I don’t feel full until it hits my stomach 10 minutes later). I nibbled some fries and ate some ice-cream (free sundae!)…but an uneasy feeling was sweeping over me.

我吃了，可是只是咬了一口。我觉得比我平时吃完快餐后都要饱（通常我都吃很快，所以我一般都不觉得饱，直到10分钟以后他们到我胃里）。我吃了几根薯条和一点点冰淇淋（免费的圣代！）…可是我觉得浑身都不太舒服。

Perhaps a walk around the mall would help digestion? I stood up to go, but a feeling of light-headed numbness swept over me. THE BURGER WAS KILLING ME!

可能走一会儿可以帮助消化？我站起来准备走会，可是一种头晕目眩的感觉包围了我。这个汉堡杀了我！

The next two hours were a constant battle between man and meat. I couldn’t concentrate, had early-onset meat sweats and wished, for perhaps the first time in my life, that I hadn’t eaten that Burger King meal.

接下来的2个小时就是一场人和肉的较量。我没法集中注意力，出现早发性食肉导致的流汗并且希望，可能是我人生中第一次，我希望我没吃那顿汉堡王。

Has anybody else had a clean victory against the 4-stack burger at BK? Let me know – I need some moral support right now!

有谁在汉堡王战胜过这个4层汉堡吗？告诉我-现在我需要一些精神上的支持！

Blogstar.TV – S01E01 – Window to the West (博客之星–第一季第一季–通向西方的窗口)

Click above to go to www.Blogstar.TV!

The first episode of the new crazy web series about the life of a blogger (I mean…erm…me!) attempting to take over China is available to watch right now! GOGOGO!

关于一个博客(我是说…我!!)的第一集新型疯狂网络系列剧席卷中国!请立即观看!

Click here to go to the Blogstar.TV site and watch online RIGHT NOW!

点击这里直接到博客之星网站在线观看!

Leave a comment and let us know what you think! Oh…and share it with your friends! Please!

留下你的评论并且告诉我们你的看法!噢…并且与你的朋友分享!!务必与他们分享!

Want to download? Get the torrent from Mininova -> Download torrent! (and seed for us!)

想要下载? Mininova -> 下载 (并且给我们种子!)

In China? Click here to watch on Tudou.com -> Watch online from China!

在中国? 点击到土豆观看 -> 在线收看!

For some reason, I wouldn’t like to take this bus (由于某些原因，我不要上他的车子)

I rewatched Speed the other day with a group of students. What a classic film! Keanu Reeves…about to break onto the world stage…Sandra Bullock…well…she was enjoying her 5 minutes of fame before she disappeared into B-movie obscurity (yes The Net, I’m talking about you!).

某日我跟我一群学生重温了遍生死时速。经典的电影啊！基努•李维斯…即将站上世界的舞台…桑德拉•布洛克…嗯…在她消失然后投身于B级影片前她确实享受了5分钟的名望（对，我说的就是网络惊魂！）

The next day we were driving near Huaihai Lu when I saw this bus. I’m not sure what it was, but I really wouldn’t feel comfortable taking it….

次日当我们在淮海路上开车的时候看到了这辆公车。我不确定它的样子，但是我确实不敢上这辆车…

…it wasn’t going very fast, but then…maybe it hadn’t reached 50mph yet!

…车开得不快，可是…它可能都不超过80km/h！